Do you know someone, who just won’t take a break, when it comes to the nitpicking, complaining, and finding fault, unnecessarily, and you find yourself, totally unable to stop the grumbling from this person?

Maybe you see this in yourself.  You really do not want to be this type of person, but you find yourself, looking at things from a negative point of view, and you just seem to vent, this aggravation to others, as well.  Looking for sympathy, or from a place, of your ego, to be an expert, lets say, but then, instead, it just turns into something that really gets out of control, because you need to be superior, in this, and you get competitive, and well you get the picture, it turns into an argument. With someone else.

Learned, destructive behaviors, that are a pattern for you, in your social skills.  That really do not make you cooperative, or a team player in anything.  For whatever reason, you want to have it all your way.   People like that, are hard to live with.  They are hard to work with, they are for lack of a better word, they are toxic.

This can change.  But, if you are involved, with someone like that you cannot change them.  Only God can.

These are the characteristics, we all should aspire to.  In our relationships, and in our hearts fruit.  With our Salvation, with our obedience to Christ, with his love…. Also, in Galatians 5:20 For the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance:  against such there is no law.

One has to be able to determine, though, whether or not you are going to get caught up in their game, of controlling, and really, a form of manipulation.  Because, they want it their way, and the Bible tells us, in Galatians 5:23 not to be provoking one another, envying one another….

One has to see the many signs, of a “toxic person.”  And truly make the decision, as to whether or not you want to get caught up in that kind of a relationship.  Sometimes, there really is no choice, especially if it is with a family member, who does these things.  Sometimes, other influences, like bad habits, of drinking, or smoking, or drug abuse, will contribute to these behavior patterns.

If you are involved with someone like that, it can also take a lot of you.  Thats why the Bible, tells us to be careful not to get caught up in the “biting” and devouring….of one another.  Prayer, can make a difference.  Sometimes, staying away from someone like that can make a difference.  It can be a real challenge, to walk away from someone like that.  But sometimes, one has to make that choice.  For your own well being.  For your own spiritual, and physical health.

I know, I have been in a couple of relationships like that, myself, where I needed to take a break.  The sad thing, was though, it was someone, I had to communicate with, because this was a family member.  And sadly, I really did not ever see any progress.  You can love someone, but you cannot change them.  That has to come from God, that has to come, from within, to say, I want to change. The loved one, I am talking about, would not, admit the problem, nor cared to see the distress it also caused me.  Its been many years, since this persons passing.  But I still look back with regret, that this relationship was toxic.  And I forgive as well.  But one thing, I do believe I need to mention, this person did not forgive.  Little things or big things, unforgiveness, was always evident.  I suppose, I see it as a symptom.

Learn to see the signs, of a toxic person.  Seek counsel, from a pastor, a friend.  But, don’t carry the weight of this alone.  Learn to know, what’s best for you, never settle, for anything else, that does not shows respect, or love.  Your worth more than you know, especially, if you know who you are and can be in Christ.    Thats they key, to understanding.  Thats the key, to changing.  Christ…..Bring it to the obedience of Christ.

As an after thought and question….

Do you see Unforgiveness, as a characteristic in someone you know who has toxic relationships?

Just my Thoughts…..and in our Lords love,    Elena Ramirez

A Prayer of Hope….

Father, God, my Lord, I pray for the person, involved, in a toxic relationship.  I pray for protection.  One who cannot seem to see that this person, is manipulating them.  Lord, I pray, for wisdom, and understanding.  I pray, that if the person who is reading this, sees some of the signs within, that they would seek you.  Lord, only you can change a heart.  Only you can change the perspective of the way we think.  Lord, touch the heart, to seek help.  To seek counsel.  To seek your truth from your word.  To make this change.   I ask this, in your precious name our Lord, Jesus.  Amen

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  1. Hi sister Eleana very appropriate picture along with wise words…also, here are some truths definitely I need to study and study and study more and more.
    Proverbs 15 A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
    Proverbs 14:29 People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.
    Ecclesiastes 7:9 Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool.
    Bless you,

    • Thank you brother Wes, for the words of wisdom, from our Fathers word. I know what you mean, I have mellowed out quite a lot. From this. But, one must study this, as you say, to be aware, to be careful, not to get into that trap, of getting toxic, complaining, etc. Sometimes, some people do that to us. They can push our buttons. Especially when we love them. I know, but God mellows us out. I know he does me. Great peace have they which love his law, and nothing shall offend them. I memorized this one…..Psalms 119:165 Blessings, and thanks for sharing this. Elena

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