I ask this question, because I see some women do this.  There is “A” spirit, I have detected, where, women, put down, criticize, demean, and give no credit, to their men, but harm them, by emasculating them.  To be perfectly clear, here, I want to show you the definition.  Because I have seen, and heard, women who do this.

emasculated) deprive (a man) of his male role or identity : he feels emasculated because he cannot control his sons’ behavior.• archaic castrate (a man or male animal).• Botany remove the anthers from a flower

Many women, do this, because perhaps, they did not have a male role model, in their home, growing up.  Or they don’t feel, like their man, meets the potential, as the leader of the home etc.  Maybe you make more money, then your husband, so you feel entitled, to be the boss.

But when any woman does that, they take on the role, of the man, and they “wear the pants” so to speak.  Its wrong…

Women, may have learned this from their own mothers, by example.  Or they just took the reins, in authority.  Whatever the case may be, there is a right and wrong way, to have order, and peace, and love, in a household.  And that is NOT the right way.

Some men, may not have had a strong, male role model, when they were growing, up.  So they relinquish their authority, and they let the woman, take the role.

God only knows if this contributes, to not having a strong sense of their male sexuality, as well.  For men and women.  Because so many people, now a days, are confused, as to what their role is.  Male and female. etc. And I won’t get into all that, or even debate it, because I am not sure what causes that, besides sin, and because I have always accepted my role, as a female.

I have accepted, what God made me.  A woman……I know my role, as a woman of God, and as his wife.  And my man, knows who he is, and who he is as the man, of the house.  His duties, prove that to me.  By his sense of responsibility.  As the protecter, the provider, and as a man of God.  And just his strength….

Sure we talk things out, he includes me.  but neither one of us, use our marriage, or our authority, in anything, to put each other down.  We protect each others feelings with each other, and around each other, for each others sake.

So, if you want a healthy marriage, and relationship, with the man you love.  Its time, to give back the authority to your man, and that is by, beginning to stop, putting him down, and criticizing him.  To be aware of this in public, as well.  In front, of friends, and family.  Strangers….

Being aware of this.  Be aware of your hurtful words.  Aware, that you are out of line….out of order.  And just make the decision to stop it.  Perhaps, go to your man, confess, your fault in this, and make an attempt, to change.

Pray.  Pray to God, and ask Him, for guidance.  Read your Bible.

Sure, you may know your man, better then anyone.  He may have made many mistakes, and still, may be lacking or failing you, in his responsibilities. etc.  But making your man, feel, low, is not the solution, to the problem.

A good woman, builds up her man.  She knows who she is in Christ, and the things they do together, in Christ, will be blessed.  The foundation, starts with Christ.  As the head, of the household.  Then it is by that order, placed on the man.  And the word, tells us to be submissive to our husbands.

Now this does not mean, that the man, uses any kind of authority, to put her down, or demean her as well.  In fact, a man is to love his woman, as his own flesh.

And, there has to be a healthy balance, in sharing, responsibilities, and yes, authority.  If a woman, takes that lead, and begins using any authority, she is hurting her man greatly.

I have seen this on television, as a joke, and in other conversations, where women, relate to their men, and just being a witness, to this in public.  Women, putting their men down.  Talking down to them, making them feel inferior.  This is so wrong.   Women’s liberation, in this, has hurt women, and their relationships.

Look, we all make mistakes, in relationships, and sometimes, we as women, feel like we have to hold our ground.  But if you do it, at the expense of hurting your man, your hurting yourself as well.

God did not create woman first, He created man first.

And truthfully, she was the one, who first listened to the devil, and made the mistake, that caused Adam to sin.  How healthy would it have been, if Adam, had stopped her, and said, lets go to God.  And ask, God.  Mankind would have been saved the curse of sin.  But he did not.

And together, they were punished, for the sin, of disobedience.  “Together, divided, you won’t stand.  United, together with God, as the foundation, you will stand together.”  But you can’t keep chipping away, at your husband, or the foundation of you both, and your marriage, your love, your family, will fall.  Your children, will learn the wrong way, to a relationship.  Because they are greatly influenced.  If you keep putting him down.  You need to see this.

And if you are not seeing your man, take the lead, as a spiritual leader, in the household, keep on being who you are in Christ, and you may “gently” nudge him, but keep on praying, keep on being  a woman of Christ, virtuous, and like the Bible, says, he will change, by your example, and your household will be saved.  I Corinthians 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.  

That is Gods promise.  And with that, being a woman of God, “consistent.”  But don’t put him down.  Dont!

Look we know how to influence our men, and you know what I am talking about, in the sense, that whatever we do as women, should be done in love, kindness, and we can influence our men to make good decisions, and to be the role model, and leader of our families.  Christ is that foundation.

But if we take it upon ourselves, to put the cart before the horse, we will just mess things up.  Thats another reason, why I advocate, holiness, and abstinence, before marriage.  You need to make the lump holy, by Christ.

I have learned through the years, in my own marriage, there is a right way, and a wrong way, to approach your man.

A true, man, also knows who he is, and will not let you, run over him, or put him down.  He demands respect.  But a smart woman, knows this any way, and does not test, the waters.  I have no idea, how much this could even affect, women, to avoid, marital problems, or abuse, for that matter.  Because I learned this early in my marriage.  But the mistakes I made, in the beginning, was due, to me, getting out of order.

It takes time, and it takes love.  But, after almost 25 years, we both learned.  And there are things, we both do, to honor each other.  I just believe, if you take this to heart, you take it to God, and you as a woman, stop emasculating your man.  You will let love, Gods love, have its way.

Women, do you emasculate, or put your man down?  Its time, to see, this, and stop, the damage.  Bind that spirit, of discord, of confusion, that spirit of control, that changes the role in your relationship and marriage, and give it to God, to change.  Release Gods ways, and Holy spirit, correction and love.

And let love, Gods love do a new thing.  “THE” Spirit of God.  You will see the difference, I know.

Just my thoughts, with love.  Elena Ramirez

Father, I pray you would be honored, and glorified, in all I do.  In my relationship, with my husband.  You have taught me, the difference.  So, with love, I pray, for others, who may have this problem.  I thank you for teaching us through the Holy spirit, the etiquette, so to speak, in relationships, in holiness, in matrimony, in honoring one another.  In not putting down our men. Lord, help any woman, any couple in this who may identify with this as a problem.  There is always a way with you, in Jesus name.  Amen.


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  1. I love this post, Elenita. Thank you so much for writing on such an important topic. I grew up in a very unhealthy home so I didn’t have a good example but forgiveness heals and you move on and you learn from your parents’ mistakes and your own and you take great lessons like yours here and you apply them and you do better. 🙂 Thank you for being a great example. Love you!!! God bless you always!!!

    • I love you too sis. You know, God understands. I also grew up in an environment, where I did not have a good example of a mom and dad, that were together. Separate they were still great, but I understand what you are saying. You know, God teaches us. I sense the release now that you read this. God had it in mind for someone. I am always glad to help. I hope it inspires everybody. Love you too Narah.

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