There is a danger to being obsessed with people. And my goodness, I feel such a strong stirring in my heart to write this. I am not sure who it is for, or meant to address, but I will write obedient, as the Holy Spirit prompts me.
Again, I do not know who this is meant for. All my friends, and acquaintances, seem to have a healthy grasp on this. But for whoever it is meant for, I pray you take it to heart.
What makes someone obsessed over someone else? Hmmm. Well I want to list a few scenarios, and then add the Lords thoughts through my thoughts to it.
This could be a spoken obsession, or an obsession, in the mind.
But if it is in the mind, it is part of the spirit. And just a thought but is the spirit from God, or the devil, in its contribution to what you think? You need to see that.
When it is a spoken obsession, it could be because you admire someone and have told them that. It could be that they have rejected you, and so you feel wounded. It could be from an old lover, a friend, or even an enemy. So you think about it, but you think and think, and think about it. Your mind is constantly on that person, and it is unhealthy.
You admire them so greatly, or may even hate them so much in an unhealthy way you could be in danger of “obsessing” to the point, that you cannot handle rejection. Or wanting even to reject them. And you could do something you regret.
You need to see it now.
It could be from someone you know, or someone you see like on television, etc. So you may even stalk them or try to get their attention etc.
When it is an obsession in the mind, you constantly think of them, even though they do not know, and your behavior changes. Where you may try to get their attention even though you do not exist to them, you want to be seen, you want to compete, you want to let them know, you are there.
You want their attention as much as you have given “thought” to them.
Friend, do you sense how unhealthy this is? Maybe you think about someone constantly, and they could care less?
I can only relate this to my own experiences, and I want to share something personal, so maybe it can help someone.
But years ago, I met a man. A very handsome man, and I fell so in love with this man. He never courted me, he frankly was not interested, yet, I began this “obsession” and would think of him, and dream of him, and told him, I loved him. I told him, no one else could love him like I could.
Which at that time, I thought was true. But he did not care, and in fact, he rejected me, and hurt me, so bad, I thought I would die.
I did not, praise God.
You see, I met my husband, and I have had a very fruitful marriage. A holy marriage, where we made Christ first, and where His spirit, has brought us together in holy matrimony.
Which is why even here, if I could briefly put it in words, it is unhealthy to have sex with someone, and link on to that spiritual bondage, in a soul tie. Because it is sin.
Being obsessed with other people is sin, in Gods eyes. They become an idol. And well if you know God, you know He is a jealous God, and this is just one more principle to consider in pleasing Him, and having a healthy spirit.
Is your obsession, turning that person into an idol? Hmmm.
I had put so much energy into this person, for such a long time, it just was not healthy for myself. But I finally saw, that it was never going to happen, and I let go.
That was the healthiest thing I could do for myself. I have been careful since then not to give a lot of attention to anyone in the sense, where I could be in a position to be rejected, or to obsess with them, and have unhealthy expectations.
You know what? Sometimes we think people are the prize. But really if we know who we were in Christ and what we can do, with Christ as the prize, we are in heritage of our Lord through Christ, as sons and daughters of our Lord, with a holy heritage.
We are royalty in Christ, and royalty does not have to beg for people to love us, or where we have to obsess about them. Don’t give yourself away. You are worth more then you know.
Don’t try and manipulate a situation with your obsession. Did you know that is like witchcraft in the eyes of God?
Do you see where I am going with this? Friends, all I know, that God is a jealous God, and if we want to be healthy in our own spirits, we have to learn to give Him all of our attention in the sense, that we do not lose our “balance” in this.
This is why probably some people keep going back to the same type of people, in relationships. Because this is the pattern they have established, not knowing the difference. Oh but with Christ, what a beautiful difference and heritage we can have. This is why obedience to God, can lead to other blessings, yes including love, but ensuring our salvation first.
Where we find a good place yes to love people, but where we reserve a place first for Christ, and then yes for ourselves. Not giving into unhealthy obsessions, where first of all people who see that, can use that to hurt you. Where they would take advantage of you. Use you. Nobody wants to be used, and not even God. Like I said, He is not an ATM machine.
We have to find respect for our own self, to yes love, but not to obsess, or to become someone’s door mat, or find we are being rejected by people. If they have rejected you, respect that, and let it go.
And here is a thought, obsessing with jealousy? Don’t do that. You are worth more then you think. And God is jealous for you.
Seriously, it goes back to when you are young, and trying to make friends for example. I learned the harder I tried to be friends sometimes with people, it turned them off.
No one likes to be intruded on, by someones advances, and when you like people, and want to be friends, it should be mutual. Being a pest etc. This is why obsessing, especially in the mind with people, and just creating thoughts about them is not healthy as well. For there is no foundation in the friendship.
So I reserve to give myself some dignity, in not over doing it, in my efforts.
Friend, again, I do not know who you are, but whatever anyone has done, or not done, you need to let it go. You need to quit thinking about that person, obsessing about them, or even following them, on social media, or where ever.
Let the obsession go, you may be lonely. God understands this, but you need to see the direction of your obsession, and give it to God to help you let go. He can fill that void. That place in your heart that you are spending so much time belongs to God. And only God.
I hope this helps you, whoever you are. Let go and give it to God, be free from obsession. People cannot fill that only God can.
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. (Galatians 5:17-24, 26 KJV)
I sense Obsessing about others is in this list. Where the spirit struggles with the flesh. Let it go, give it to Christ. Share this link if you think it could help someone.
Blessings, and love, Elena Ramirez