Version 2If you don’t stop looking for love in all the wrong places, the end result of your life will be trashy….Strong words, but truth, please wake up!

I really feel such a strong desire to write about this.  And when I do, I know, its from God Almighty.  So, I pray, my experiences, this that, what I am about to share with you, helps you, to realize, God does not want you looking for love in all the wrong places, as well.

I am older now, my experiences, have taught me many things.  But I learned, and I learned the hard way, that one should:  


Please allow me to elaborate.  

Right now, I am not looking for love.  I have a wonderful husband, and son, for over 30 years, we have been married, content, and in love, and we have our son, and so I am not looking for a mate.  

But when I was single, when I was growing up, I made many mistakes and had terrible judgment in this area.  I looked for love in all the wrong places.

I had low self-esteem.  I grew up, with my mom, raising me.  I had a father, I knew who he was.  He was a good man.  But he and my mother, did not get along, and were divorced, when I was just a child. 

So, I did not have that father figure to guide me.  

I have written about this in some similar posts, as my secret to true love.  But, I truly believe this.  That many of us, can get so lonely, so desperate for companionship, acceptance, a need to fit in, with others, that we can look for love in all the wrong places.

And I am not just talking about intimacy, or finding love, but just even in relationships, with friends, groups, etc.  We can look for acceptance, and actually compromise, who we are, because we can get so desperate.  It will distort your judgment. That you can even look for it in alcohol, or drugs.  Don’t do that, it will just make the problem worse, so that you cannot have a clear head in these matters.  

And I will elaborate on that as well.

But I know this worked for me, and years ago, after trial and error, I realized I had to change my method, or my approach to finding love.  I wanted true love. I went to God.  

He told me I needed to repent for my sins.  He showed me what He did on that cross for me.  He counseled me.  You know, He is my greatest friend, counselor, therapist, and adviser.  Theres none like God.  He is not imaginary.  He is very real.  He helps me, and helped me then as well.  

I began searching for truth, from my King James Bible.  And anyone that knows me, knows, I do not recommend any other word. Because it is not changed, or corrupted, as scripture tells us not to do.

Anyway….I began to see His ways, are not our ways.  The way of the world.  

The way of the world looks at love, as something cheap.  Its not.  Love em, and leave em, take what you want, thats not holy, and thats what you get.  Something that is not precious, something that is used, and thats not how God intended it to be for us.  Because He did not create us to have “trashy” spirits.  

So when I saw this, that love is not free, in that regard.  I began praying for the right mate.  I determined, that if God brought me a mate, I would do things His way.  Not mine, or the way of the world.  I promised Him, I would do things His way, and I do try.  

When I met my husband, I laid out some rules.  Because I liked him. And I did see potential.  But I did not want to ruin it with sex, or short changing myself, to try and please someone.  Who might, just take pleasure, and then leave.  Anyway, like they say, why buy the cow, when you get the milk for free?  

So, I told this wonderful man, I met, I wanted to do things right.  The way of the Lord.  So, he listened, and that gave him, respect toward me. 

Well long story short, a few months later, he asked me to marry him.  We got married, by holy matrimony, and we are trying in the way of the Lord, to live happily ever after.  

Has it been easy? No not always, but we work at it, we cherish each other, and honor each other.  Because we honored God to wait.   Because we did wait, and we honored God, we have a supernatural bond, that cannot be broken.  

Now, because I am older, I want you to see, by my experiences, that you can have true love, but you can also see, by what I share, that you need to stop looking for love, in all the wrong places.

I am also talking about just fitting in.  Or having friends.  I know myself.  I am a pretty loyal person.  But I have not always had that returned to me.  Right now, I just have a couple of people, that I call friends, that I love, but people change, and I have seen that in my life.  So, I don’t always trust that.  People can come and go…..

And, I don’t rely on people, to fill a void for me.  That void, is only met, as I seek God.  As I pray, as I read my King James Bible, as I stay away from any kind of sin.

I don’t even rely on family.  But I am very grateful for my immediate family.  That I have now.  

But when I say that, I am talking about other family relations.  See, it was just me and mama.  Daddy passed away first, even though, he did not raise me, I knew him.  He provided what he could.  Mama raised me, but life was hard on her.  I had no brothers and sisters.  I don’t even have family on any side, that communicates with me, besides an aunt.

So, I have adopted people in the past, loved them, like family.  But they abandoned me.  Well, like I said, people can change.  

But I also now look at what people represent.  Do they compromise values?  Do they respect themselves?  Do they lie?  Are they mean?  Do they have integrity?  I am careful now not, to just be a friend with anybody, any more.  I value myself that much, that if someone wants to be my friend, they have to be for real, in having some good values.  ….They have to prove it, to me, now.  

Any way, I feel like there is someone, I am talking to.  Someone, who wants to fit in.  And you are about to compromise yourself, or values, that make you special, in Christ.  Don’t. 

The other day, because I am a Conservative Christian, on social media, someone told me something, and it kind of hurt my feelings, but it made me realize the truth too, because I was supporting something.   This someone told me; you will never fit in with them, because you are Hispanic, and you may agree with them, but they will not accept you.

And that stung.  Because I am an American.  I have legal rights, as an American.  Born and raised here, with indigenous roots.  So….I know who I am.  I am fairly educated, even though in some areas of that, I do lack, because I did not go to college.  

But I realize, even in some Christian circles, I will never be accepted.  By some.  And I am not the kind of person, that looks for race, as my outlet.  So, I don’t use it for, or against anyone either.  But some do.  

But it made me realize, I don’t need to go looking for love, in all the wrong places.  Or even in political circles.  Or even in the body of Christ.  In fact, sadly there are those in the body of Christ, who have hurt me the most.  

I have tried, to be accepted, even in my writings, as my gift.  And hoping, doors would open for me, and they have been shut.  Why?  I don’t know?  Is it the race card, I don’t know, but I know, by some, I will not fit in.  My writings, publishers, have turned away.  If people share my thoughts, thats great, but I don’t ask any more.  

So, I don’t try and second guess any more, because life is too short, to keep banging on doors, that just won’t open. And I don’t compromise by flattery to have those doors open either.  Though, I am nice, polite, I don’t beg. 

I don’t go looking any more, for acceptance, or for favor, or to fit in.  I don’t need drugs, or anything to be a comfort.  

I am content, with what God has given me, in my family, and in Him.  No, I wanted more, in this life I live.  But I see I did reap, what I sowed, in other ways, but now, I don’t care to try, to please people. 

Yet, I see so many hurting, lonely people, that I have compassion for, and the love of Christ rises in me, to want to help, but I also know, in all honesty, we reap what we sow.  

If I could sit a young woman down, and talk to her, maybe she could understand. But since I am not in a position to even be in that “circle” maybe what I write, here, could help her, or him, not to sell yourself.  Not to give yourself away.  

There are valuable attributes, to claim, when you respect yourself. And, no matter where you are, you do not have to give yourself away, to be a part of something good, or great.  

Now, I know God has taught me this, to respect myself, but it did come with some heartache.  But I know, where ever He may lead me, I don’t have to look for love.  I don’t have to beg people to accept me.  I don’t have to compromise my values, in Christ, for acceptance, or to be a part of something.  

I don’t.  And I will not.  

Please just know, you need to “Stop Looking for Love in all the wrong places.”  Don’t take anything to fill that void, clear your spirit.  By not polluting it, or your body. Go to God, He will fill that void in your life.  He knows what you need, He does not make you suffer, just to suffer, but He will correct you, because He loves you. And so suffering does sometimes come with correction.  

Ensure your salvation with Christ.  And I would tell anybody that.  Hell is real, even on earth.  Even if you were a Christian at one time.  Rededicate yourself to Christ.  

Repentance, always clears the slate.  Talk to Him, He is your greatest friend.  You don’t need to beg anybody, or compromise yourself to be with people.  You may long for it, but when God closes one door, He will open another.  

And maybe thats where I am at right now, because I see some doors closing, even now, that I won’t elaborate on, but I am so hopeful, for just a new beginning for me and my family.  

But people will not always be happy for you.  Nor will they support you, because they do not see the value in you, because they don’t see the value in themselves as well.  Some people will purposely try to hold you back.  But you don’t have to give them that advantage over you, if you do things the way of the Lord. 

So move on, and let God guide you.  Your heart will mend, if you do things His way.  Your peace, will be fulfilled, and you will find your heart mended, and that void will go away.

Stop looking for love in all the wrong places…

Just remember this.  God is love.  He is Holy.  Love, real love, can only be fulfilled by Him, and through Him.  Anything else, sorry to say, is not pure, its not good, its not worthy of you losing your soul over. Anything else, could be counterfeit.  If He is not in it.  For you would be missing, the love God could give you.   


I John 4:7-9 King James.  

I hope this helps someone.  Feel free to share this, or to comment, below.  I will gladly pray for you.  

Blessings, in Christ,  Elena Ramirez 



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