There are days, when things seem so clearer. Revelations from God. And where you just come to a point, and you are not giving up.
But you are giving into God, and totally trusting Him, obeying Him, walking in love, seeking to keep His commandments, and just letting go, and letting God.
You speak it, because thats where the commitment comes in. You tell yourself, just trust God, just obey Him. Do your part. I search in my King James, bible for these truths. Because its Holy word, not changed. And God speaks to me.
You realize that this is the key, to life. To make sense. To come to grips with situations. Because life is so unpredictable. But to over and over struggle, is just not healthy.
Sometimes you let go.
Yet, there is a part of me, that is actually very stubborn, where I hold on. Where I won’t give up hope. But it is because I am holding onto God. It is not over, till He says its over. Then I will totally let go. But if I see a glimmer of hope, I am holding onto that thought. I trust God. But I have to obey.
I guess, because I am older now, and I have always loved God, but you know sometimes, I have struggled with things. I have struggled, with people. I have struggled, with my own self worth. And I am actually tired of dealing with these things in my mind.
The scripture says, there is no peace to the wicked. I don’t try to be wicked. I don’t try to hurt anybody, I don’t try to disobey God. For many years, I have tried to be kind, forgiving, loving. Yes obedient….
I have tried not to open spiritual doors, that brings curses. But I suppose that sin nature can creep in, if I don’t totally submit to God. And resist the devil. So I try to watch myself in these spiritual matters.
But I am blunt, and that can hurt. But I know some truths, about who God is, and I know what His word says, in some ways, and I try to share it. Some think or feel it’s judging. I feel like its warning, and thats what I try to do, on occasion. They cannot handle me. Well thats o.k. I don’t need to be handled. But it would have been nice, if I had been accepted. With love, and friendship. In Christ.
Anyway, I am facing something right now, where I am weary. I don’t have the bounce I used to. And it seems to be a distraction, where I have not been able to give full attention to this, and I keep thinking about the past, and the friends, I love. It does seem like the enemy has been trying to attack me. In matters of friendship. But I do rebuke that, and plead the blood of Jesus in that.
And I just have come to a place where, I am saying Lord, I trust you.
TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL THINE HEART: AND LEAN NOT UNTO THINE OWN UNDERSTANDING. PROVERBS 3:5 KJV.
I cannot try to second guess, or trouble shoot something, or analyze it so much. That would be inclining to my own understanding, and here in this scripture God is saying don’t do that. Just trust me. He says….
Now when push comes to shove. I just have to trust God. I have to coast. Go with the flow. Float, hang on. Ride it out.
I realize, though, and I always have realized that I have my part in this. On how it goes. In the spiritual realm of things. God is a spirit, and so I worship Him, in spirit and in truth. Whether people agree. Whether people want to have anything to do with me, is really not my concern. In the sense, that people, cannot dictate to me, by their actions, by their love, or hate, whether or not I care.
Because I care what God thinks. I care, if I please God.
I have had relationship problems with people for most of my life, where they just seem to go. Even family. And yes friends.
The family that left, did not mean to leave me. But some did. They wanted nothing to do with me.
Friends is where I had hope in. I adopted people, as family. Because I did not have a strong family foundation. Growing up. But I do now. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and son.
But, Friends in Christ. Well, those did not last. And that has grieved me, greatly, I did not want to accept it. But I do now, because I thought the foundation was in love, and God is love, and He never fails. But people do.
Its not all lost, don’t get me wrong. I think I have a couple of friends left, and I just need to say that. But I don’t want to intrude on those frienships. I want to cherish them, but I am a little afraid, that they will go too…. So I think I am keeping my distance. I don’t want to, but I am afraid to get close to friends any more.
Where I guess, I kind of expect some folks to leave, if they are friends. Because most of them have left. And when I think about it, it bothers me. Like its a bad track record. And I guess, I have blamed myself. But I am tired. And I say I forgive, but maybe I have not. Maybe I resented. And maybe, it has hurt me, spiritually. Because it may be sin. I don’t know.
But because I am in the position I am in now, and I am tired. I am actually telling God, to bless those who have hurt me. To comfort them. To give them wisdom, love and understanding. I am saying this, even though, I have felt abandoned by some folks. I did not understand it.
But I cannot hold onto it any more. I release it. Like a balloon, and if it pops somewhere oh well. Or like a gift, that just brings joy. But I am not holding onto it. I am trusting God, and just letting go, and letting God. Walking in love, forgiving.
Trying to change my heart, because my mind is changing. I change it willingly to remind myself to seek Gods heart. So I can have Gods mind. The mind of His son, our Lord, Christ.
Hoping that the release, will release me, in the spirit. So I can go on….To whatever the will of God is.
Its the holy week. A few days before Resurrection Sunday. And I am just trying to reconnect more with my Lord. I am trying to be strong, in love, and forgiveness, as Christ was, and is. I am reminded of His sacrifice, and that there was no greater sacrifice. Then what He did. I am being quiet. Avoiding social media. The toxicity of that, politics. etc.
There is a part of me, where I don’t understand, those who do not take His word, and love to heart. But maybe thats not my place.
Maybe I am just called to walk alone, without these people, but love them in my heart anyway. Isn’t that what Christ did, in the sense, that He takes all these sins, thoughts, and just covers them with love?
And I feel like emphasizing that thought in love. Just love them. Be grateful, they touched your life. Even though they are not near me. For whatever reasons. Just remember the good times, just hold them close, in hope and thought, because God loves them too. Pray for them, because you know their weak points. Pray, God helps them. Remember the laughs, remember the joy. The times, we prayed, or had fellowship, and it was all so very good. It really was…..But I cannot miss it, any longer, or long for it, because then it holds me back.
And I think if I can do that, I can let go, I can release them all in sweet feelings. I can have peace about it. I am going to call that obeying God, and trusting God in the matter. Because thats where I am at this point.
But in there is a place of reconciling with Him, to love Him, and to just come to that point, where you totally release everything to Him, because He is God. Because you see, you cannot control it, or take care of it always. But He can….
A BLESSING, IF YE OBEY THE COMMANDMENTS OF THE LORD YOUR GOD, WHICH I COMMAND YOU THIS DAY: DEUTERONOMY 11:27 KJV.
Hope that makes sense, but that’s “Just My Thoughts” today….I love the Lord.
AND WE KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR GOOD TO THEM THAT LOVE GOD, TO THEM WHO ARE THE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE. ROMANS 8:28 KJV.