WHEN PEOPLE CROSS YOUR BOUNDARIES YOU MAY NEED TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND FOR SELF-RESPECT ~ By Christian Author….


OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAWHEN PEOPLE CROSS YOUR BOUNDARIES YOU MAY NEED TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND FOR SELF-RESPECT ~

By Christian Author….Elena Ramirez 

Sometimes you have to see there are boundaries no one should ever cross in respect. And sometimes you do have to be cruel to be kind, especially when you love people. You say enough is enough.

You realize if you don’t, you will lose your own self respect. And that’s a curse, because you don’t see, you are a child of the King. Sometimes we have to realize who we are in Christ, and what Christ did for us, on that cross, cleanses us.  By His grace.  

We are the head, and not the tail!  

AND THE LORD SHALL MAKE THEE THE HEAD, AND NOT THE TAIL:  AND THOU SHALT BE ABOVE ONLY, AND THOU SHALT NOT BE BENEATH:  IF THOU HEARKEN UNTO THE COMMANDMENTS OF THE LORD THY GOD, WHICH I COMMAND THEE THIS DAY, TO OBSEVE AND TO DO THEM.  DEUTERONOMY 28:13.  KJV.  

And nobody should ever go past the boundaries of respect. EVER!  

It is sad, but sometimes, people mistake a good nature, a kindness, as weakness, and they challenge that.  They cross boundaries.  But it is a strength to be kind, and nice, but there are those boundaries, where you say no more.  

You then become cruel to be kind. You stand up for yourself, and what is right, in the sight of God.  With courage.  You call it for what it is, with truth.  Because the truth sets us all free. 

This is how it is I believe with God.  He is extending grace to all of us.  But there will be a time, when hell will be paid, if we do not see His ways.  And repent, because we reap what we sow.  And His wrath will be revealed.  

Do you see why I have fear of God?  Because I do.  

But, I know the difference, with people.  It’s not a matter of pride, it’s a matter of dignity. And when someone realizes they crossed that boundary and is accountable they grow! Apologies. Respect go hand in hand.  Gods grace is not silent.  

It seems, I meet a lot of people who try to cross my boundaries, with disrespect.  Well I rebuke that as well, I am breaking this cycle by sadly walking away.  By being mean to be kind.  

It seems people cross that boundary.  In matters of my faith, in matters of friendship, in matters of privacy, and even in matters of common courtesy.  

I guess, I have just come from a place, where I say enough is enough.  Where I may even sound, or seem hurtful myself, and I have come out swinging.  And my nature as a warrior, is contributed by that, because I did have to fight to survive.   Growing up.  

Yet, I cannot let someone steal my peace, so I walk away.  Oh I know, I cannot cross boundaries myself, and I must maintain self-control.  I must be careful not to return evil for evil.  Am I perfect at this?  No.  Sadly but I do repent.  And strive for His excellence in these matters.  

And I have loved people, and sadly, many have walked away, or I walked away from them, because they showed no respect.  There are personal boundaries, that I will not allow someone to cross.  And the worst lately, for me, is the silent treatment.  

I will not tolerate that.  Because it is a sign of rejection.  And a sign of disrespect.  Its a form of manipulation, to punish me, when I know, I did not deserve that.  

I will not tolerate, obscenities to be spoken about me, or against me.  Or gestures that may not be spoken but that are the same.  As an obscenity.  I will not tolerate lies, as well.  I know who I am, in Christ.

For me, its a matter, of maintaining my dignity, in Christ.  When I know I have forgiven.  Others.   When I know, I do not deserve treatment like that, because I am a child of the King.  

I may sound harsh.  I may sound mean.  But if I have to be cruel to be kind, then maybe the person, who is being used by the enemy will see their own errors.  No!  I will not take that.  

I will speak truth, because thats the only thing that sets us free.  And maybe thats why I am hated.  But I would rather please my God, then people.  

And I am determined to prove my trustworthiness to God.  It is my goal.  But I cannot do that if I myself, am in denial.  And not walking in love.  And not doing my part, to maintain who I am in Christ.  He sees, everything, and why people don’t grasp that is beyond me.  

But oh well….  I cannot be cowardly in these matters of finding my own dignity, and respect.  

See we all have to grow.  If we really want to have a healthy spirit, with Christ.  And there are boundaries, we sometimes have to see, and say no, enough is enough.

Now if people are smart enough they will see the error of their own ways, and not cross those boundaries, but also, repent to God, and apologize to those you have taken advantage of disrespectfully.

That spirit comes from the enemy.  There are clues, that indicate this:

1. A spirit of manipulation.  (are you trying to make someone do something, by being manipulative? )  Thats wrong, and dishonest in the sight of God.

2.  Are you being a false witness?  Are you accusing someone else, because you just want to be vindictive?  You need to really see the error of your own ways…..

3. Do you really forgive, or do you bring it back up?  And if you do forgive, then forgive but don’t throw something back at someones face to be a false witness.  Thats a lie from hell to do so.  Because forgiveness is covered by the blood of Jesus.  

4.  Are you jealous?  That spirit, leads right to the devil, for that is one of his characteristics.  You have to see it.

5.  Are you in denial?  You cannot see your own errors, but you try to put it on someone else disrespectfully?  That is wrong, in the sight of God, and you will never grow.

6.  Do you have the spirit of pride?  That pride will always try to puff yourself up, and you will never admit your own wrong doing, because you cannot bear to let anybody see you humble.  Thats so wrong.

7.  Do you walk out of love, and make it all about you.  How narcissistic that is, and again, another characteristic from the devil.  SELF.  

Yes, walking away hurts.  Especially when you love people. But I have learned, as much as I do hate confrontation, I have to confront people like that.  And tell them, what bothers me, so I can get my own dignity back with respect.  

And either they take it for what its worth, and see the error of their own ways.  Or they do not.  But I do not need friendships that are not based on any kind of mutual respect.  I do not need to be anybodies punching bag.  

Being cruel to be kind, does not cross lines as well.  Returning evil for evil.  And I know for my own part, it may seem harsh, and evil as well.  

But I repent.  And thats the difference, because I know, the only way God will guide me, and help me grow, is if I am in that place of humbleness.  Yes we all make mistakes,  but I know the key is knowing who you are in Christ.  Not crossing boundaries, and yes repenting, and apologizing.

Just sharing some thoughts today on the matter.  You see, I need to get healthy myself spiritually, and I need to maintain those boundaries for my own growth in Christ.  Sometimes you do put up walls, so you can protect yourself.  So others will not cross that boundary.  

Is that being cruel to be kind?  I don’t know, all I know, is when I am done.  And right now, I am done.  Until I see something to change my mind and heart, back to respect. 

HE THAT HATH NO RULE OVER HIS OWN SPIRIT IS LIKE A CITY THAT IS BROKEN DOWN, AND WITHOUT WALLS.  PROVERBS 25:28  KJV.  

Love and blessings,

Elena

Please Note:  I was going to make this a “Note To Self”:  For my new blog, which consists of a thoughts and prayer, with scripture as the format.  

But was led to put it here.  Blessings, check out my new blog…..sign up for it, and please share this.  You may just help someone, who needs to see this truth.  Love you in Christ, Elena 

http://notetoselfbyelenaramirez.wordpress.com  

 

 

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WHY COMMUNICATION IS SO IMPORTANT AS A CHRISTIAN BUT IN LIFE ~ By Christian Author Elena Ramirez


IMG_4575.jpgI feel led to write about communication.  With one another, with God, with others, and as a Christian, I feel I am more indebted to try and communicate.

Most of my problems I have had in life, or with others, are due to not getting communication.  Where things may seem to be fuzzy, or where someone, may take the incentive, but will do something and not communicating.  Or where something is assumed.  

Or where I was expected to do something, but I did not know.  So because communication was not reinforced, things fell through, or did not get accomplished.  

Its so vital, to communicate, and I think thats why I have since, an early age, tried to articulate my thoughts, actually by writing them down, and communicate through writing, because I have not always been confident, or been a great orator.  But that changed when I began writing my thoughts, as a reference.  So I overcame that to build up my self esteem.

In business, I learned to document my thoughts, and situations, because you need a back up sometimes.  To determine, what was communicated, and if it was not, then I had my notes to refer to.  To show, this was what was communicated.  

I used to work for the phone company.  And I used to joke to some, that the phone company, was responsible for providing great phone service to others, for having the tool as the phone. But inside the ranks of the company, there were times, communication was not available, and things were not understood, and the protocol, for even sharing information was difficult.  To receive or share.  Whose who?   Who do I need to contact, to communicate with?

Recently, I have had situations arise, where communication was vague, or where someone, actually did not communicate with me, and misunderstandings did occur. And I am not going to give the enemy fuel, if I remain silent.  I have my part.  And I see how the enemy can only come to destroy, when communication is not available. 

I have a neighbor, who just recently overstepped, her authority in a matter, because she did not communicate a problem with us, and tried to rectify a problem on her own, concerning our fence.  If she had only come to us, and stated there was a problem with the fence, and asked for our assistance, we would have been glad, to help.  Or, if she had asked for permission.  But she did neither, and now consequently, the situation has gotten so bad, by her lack of communication, that we are at odds with each other.  And its sad.  

With my friends, who I love dearly, things like that can also occur, if one person, is assuming something, but the communication is not clear, feelings can get hurt.

Or with family.  Who I love dearly.  With my hubby, or son, we often have little powwows, so we can get to the root of a problem but we communicate, so we all understand each other.  And I will just say here, everyone, needs that, to feel important or understood.  Then we pray to God, because we always need to communicate to our Lord.

So I try, really hard to communicate.  And I also ask for feedback, to see if my message was conveyed, and understood.  When one does not make the effort to do that, things, can fall through the cracks.  

I really feel like God is telling us, we have a responsibility to communicate.  Is it easy?  Not always.  Confrontation, can make it seem like war.  But the enemy would rather have us shut up, then to communicate.  Even if I do not agree with someone, I so appreciate, the effort when communication is presented.  It helps.  

But when someone goes silent, its mind boggling, because you just don’t know.  So yes, I can be bold, and confront, if I need communication in a matter.  Some things, to be honest, I don’t want to know, but if I am included in a matter, to do something, yes communicate with me.  Its a service we do for one another, but it takes two parties to do it.

I am pretty fair, when I know the facts, but its so frustrating, if you are put on the spot, yet someone did not say, or communicate, this is what I expect.  These are the rules.

Life is funny, and people like to do their own thing but do we really look as well to see, what God says?  Not man, but God, first.  I love my King James bible, because Gods Holy word, is there to give me answers.  God has done His part by communicating and giving us His Holy word.  And I just will say it here, He does not give us something only to think about but if its there, its a commandment.  But He provides, always.  

….Answers to why things happen, but also what God expects.  Sometimes you have to connect the dots, but communicating with God, is so important.  Prayer.  He is the King of Kings, He established His thoughts, but if I want answers I have to talk to Him, I have to search my Bible, I have to see and examine my part and heart in this matter.  Do I communicate, did I communicate my part effectively?

And with others.  Sometimes, I have to apologize. Or repent, and to God, I need to do this often.  Practically every day, because I am not perfect.  In communication.  Sometimes, I have to say, I failed to understand your thoughts, so I reacted this way.

But when someone does not apologize or communicate as well, it is frustrating to say the least.  When I have communicated, but the communication was not returned.  Or understood.  

Maybe thats why I am writing this.  Because communication is so important.  But it is a two way street.  One cannot just communicate, and work at something, while someone does not offer communication in return.

Well, I hope this brings insight, like I say, I am an opened book in many ways, and there are some things I don’t spill the beans about, or blab or communicate about, because it could be misunderstood, but if I try to be honest, and truthful with others and God, it does seem to make things easier.  

Communication always has to be worked out.  

This is what the Bible says about this.  I am glad it does.  Because more then anything I want to please my Lord.  Thank you…Father.  

HEBREWS 13:16  KJV

BUT TO DO GOOD AND TO COMMUICATE FORGET NOT: FOR WITH SUCH SACRIFICES GOD IS WELL PLEASED.  

 

Blessings, and love,

 

Elena Ramirez 

ATTENTION!!!! I AM MOVING YET MAINTAINING THIS BLOG ~ BY CHRISTIAN AUTHOR ELENA RAMIREZ


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I am so grateful to God, that He gave me this book to write for His glory, and for you…..

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