I am not trying to brag but I do know God personally. And one of the reasons, I know He exists, is because He corrects me.
I have known Him, for many years. I remember, I knew Him, as a little girl. I was fascinated with Him, loved Him, talked to Him, I even used to write to Him as a child. But then when I grew up more, my expectation was different. He is not a genie. He does not give us everything we want, and He has his standards. He did not do that for me.
I stopped believing in Him, for a while.
Those were the darkest, years of my life. I stopped our relationship, it wasn’t Him, it was me.
One time, over forty years ago….I was getting high, won’t say on what, but it was bad for me. I saw the evil one. It told me, if I was seeing him, the evil one, I was doing something wrong. I began searching for God again. I thought then, if I saw the evil one, why wasn’t I seeing who God is? It was not rocket science. There is evil in this world, so there must be good, and God, and because of that, I began searching for God, because He was hiding from me. Yes, I said it, God hides. He tests us.
AND I WILL SURELY HIDE MY FACE IN THAT DAY FOR ALL THE EVILS WHICH THEY SHALL HAVE WROUGHT, IN THAT THEY ARE TURNED UNTO OTHER gods. Deuteronomy 31:18 KJV.
See, if we are not seeking God, and only God, we will be making something an idol. We will not be giving Him, all our love, attention, honor and respect. He requires it, and only Him, are we to serve. He is a jealous God.
I was not doing that, which was right in His sight. I lived between the world, and God, walking a fine line on a fence. I saw the error of my ways. I think thats why I have grown. But I don’t take my relationship with Him for granted. I know we reap what we sow. I know, because I have reaped harsh lessons. Harsher things, then your average person. I won’t say, what, but God knows.
But through it all, He always has been there. And when I seek Him, He reveals Himself to me. Shows me, things. Gives me discernment, understanding. Joy, hope. Provision. But I don’t search for His hand, I search for His face. I search to please Him.
I remember when He showed me, not to ask for money, for my ministry. Because I did. I thought all of these pastors, ask for money, I should as well. But He showed me how wrong that was. That it would pollute the work I would do for Him, so I don’t ask for money, and in fact, even though, I have written three books, I don’t peddle myself or His word. I try to help others freely in this.
I know, when I don’t please Him. I try not to get puffed up, with anything He gives me, or shows me but sometimes, I do come off harsh, and well, He puts me in my place. I accept it. I know, my faults, I know where I can go wrong. I have been rebellious, I understand that.
He taught me the difference between religion and relationship with Him. Religion, is rules, regulations, traditions rituals made by men or groups. I don’t have that. I have relationship, with my Lord, and it is very sweet. To know Him. Based on what He did on that cross for me, but my part is to obey, love Him, and seek Him. He will do the rest. But I don’t abuse grace. I know it came at a high cost. I have my part.
I know His laws. And many don’t get this, but God is a legal God. If you have been taught this phony baloney about grace, only, you are being deceived. You do not have a license to sin, by grace.
The only law we are free from is the law of sin, and death.
FOR THE LAW OF THE SPIRIT OF LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS HATH MADE ME FREE FROM THE LAW OF SIN AND DEATH. ROMANS 8:2 KJV.
And if you really want happiness heed this scripture as well.
WHERE THERE IS NO VISION, THE PEOPLE PERISH: BUT HE THAT KEEPETH THE LAW, HAPPY IS HE. PROVERBS 29:18 KJV.
We are free from the law of sin and death. Not His commandments. Not His laws. He did not flip flop from the Old Testament, to the New Testament. Christ did not come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it.
THINK NOT THAT I AM COME TO DESTROY THE LAW, OR THE PROPHETS: I AM NOT COME TO DESTROY BUT TO FULFIL. MATTHEW 5:17 KJV.
But I know who He is, and He shows me the beauty of who He is. In small and little things, as well as big things. But when anything I sense darkness in, or there is no light, I know to go back and repent.
Repentance is one of the sweetest things He has taught me. To be humble, not proud. Daily repentance, keeps my slate clean.
His word, my King James bible, brings light. I remember when He showed me the difference between Bibles.
I had a strange situation, once, where, someone was plagiarizing my poems. I used to write poems, by the hundreds. They were called a “Prayer of Hope”. They were scripture, and a poem, and a prayer. I have them on file. Maybe someday I will publish them again. I don’t think too many are on the internet, because a network, I had them on, destroyed the files.
Anyway, in this situation, someone plagiarized me. A woman, was claiming my poems, and saying she wrote them. She did not even try and change them, she took them in total format. I was so upset. God spoke to my heart, and told me, I understand. You see, when someone takes my word, they plagiarize my thoughts, and it bothers me too, but its only the devil. He promised to take care of it for me. It released me.
I thought that was strange, that he told me that, but then He began to show me, how different bible versions, were being plagiarized and how the devil was in the deception. See, Gods word is holy, and when we search in there, and disregard bible verses, that tell us not to change add, or delete Gods word, that is disobedience. The anointing will not be there.
Any way, God showed me that. Those verses, just for the sake of your understanding is…. Deuteronomy 4:2, Proverbs 30:5-6, and Revelation 22:18-19, that actually warns someone will not be allowed to the Holy city, and could have their name removed from the book of life. Nothing to be messing with. Get a King James.
Anyway, I can write so much more about who God is. But I just know, I love Him, and I know I am human, I make mistakes, but I do try and serve Him, with all my heart, soul, and being. I never want anybody to follow me, but to follow Christ. If I show you something, I just pray God gets the glory, and will give you the desire to seek Him.
See, He is very real. I know it. I actually get a little indignant, when someone says He is a fable, or make believe. He is not. They have not walked in my shoes. They do not know what He has done for me. But He has been there. Saved me, spoke things to my heart.
He actually introduced me to my husband. Years ago, I was at a night club. I wanted to leave. The Lord spoke so clearly in my ear, He said, “don’t go.” It kind of shocked me. Moments after that, I met my husband. And it is another prayer answered. The many times, He has answered my prayers. I cannot even count them. But I will seek Him. In prayer.
He has come to my rescue so many times. Healed me, so many times. Taught me things. He is beautiful. I sense His spirit even now. Encouraging me. But yes strict with me, but I go with the flow now.
I don’t fight it. I know when it will be all done with for me on this earth, He will reach out for me. I know it. But while I am here on earth, I want to do all I can for His Kingdom. I want to reach out to the lost, I want to give someone understanding. But I won’t accept anyone mocking Him, or my relationship with Him. I can walk away from that. And I have.
And I know if I kneel before Him, I can stand before anyone. I know He is not a respecter of persons. So that gives me confidence, no matter who they are. I have seen him come against my enemies. I won’t say how, but He has been my defense.
I try to be loyal to God, if I offended Him, that would just grieve me. Knowing what He did on the cross for me. I don’t take my salvation for granted. I fear God. He taught me that as well. So even though, I boast in Him, I do not take anything for granted.
Yes, I know Him, I am not trying to brag. But I know Him personally. I just pray to bless Him.
MY SOUL SHALL MAKE HER BOAST IN THE LORD: THE HUMBLE SHALL HEAR THEREOF AND BE GLAD. PSALMS 34:2 KJV.
Well anyway, just sharing some of my thoughts today. I am so grateful. What a mighty God I serve. He has taught me to love, and forgive others. So poison won’t stay in my soul.
Anyway….I hope you know Him too. I want to encourage you. No matter what you are going through, God can get you through. He can write a new page for you. But make sure you are on the same page with Him, in a King James.
Blessings, and love,