REMEMBER THE LOVE THE GOOD TIMES TO GO ON EVEN IF YOU ARE HURT ~ By Elena Ramirez
Sometimes, people have to speak things over us, by God so we can see it. So, this is what I will do for you, as my husband spoke this over me.
You see, I had a very dear friend, who I loved dearly. And we were friends for over 25 years. I loved this lady dearly, and you know what she loved me. She was a very generous lady, a very kind lady, in Christ. We both were prayer warriors.
But people change, and I suppose I did too. And well the enemy divided us up. I never thought, I would see that day, but it did happen.
And I won’t go into all the details, but when respect is not given or received, or when one is rejected, well one walks away. I did. Maybe I misunderstood, but since she would not clarify it, thats what I interpreted.
Anyway, long story short, its been over a month. Since we have talked. And I don’t expect her or me to budge in this. Its not that I have pride, but I know when I have done all I can and so, I know I could not add anything more.
But I found myself getting bitter about it, angry, yes I told her I forgave, and I do. But sometimes, you can war within yourself in these matters. I did.
Last night my husband and I were briefly talking about it. And I said, I just feel indifferent now. Not that I don’t care, because I do, but I just am disappointed.
He told me, you know, you need to just let it go. You outgrew each other, and just remember the good in her, she is a good person, and for what it was worth, she blessed you, you blessed her, and now its done. Its over.
Something about his words, ministered to me. I went to sleep finally at peace about it. I prayed God bless her. She is a very kind, and generous person, and she made me laugh, and we were good friends, but sometimes, things change.
People outgrow each other, for different reasons. I suppose she outgrew me, and not that I outgrew her, because I accepted her as she was.
But I accept her choices now, and I RESPECT, her reasons. Even though I do not understand. I can go on.
Perhaps, you struggle, with someone, from your past. Someone you love. A friendship, or even a love. Remember the love, the kindness, the friendship, and don’t demonize them, or hate them, but just release them, with the love, the good that bound you.
See you have to make sure poison, of unforgiveness does not affect you. You have to make sure you are doing your part according to Christ. I cannot control the situation, but I can control how I react to it. I release her in Christ, because she was a gift.
There is a saying, if you love someone, let them go, and if they are yours they will return. I love my friend, enough to walk away, and let her go. I don’t seek to return, to her, nor do I think she seeks to return to me. It is what it is. But I accept it now, with forgiveness in my heart.
But I have peace, and thank God for the times, we were friends, it nurtured me, and I rejoice in the gift of what it was then. It was a gift.
But some gifts, are returned to the sender. No matter what the heart felt intention was. If it was not true, it will show itself. See gifts are just something that is icing on the cake.
But if the sentiment, does not follow up with respect it does not prove itself.
Oh well. God bless your day.
By Elena Ramirez
A FRIEND LOVETH AT ALL TIMES, AND A BROTHER IS BORN FOR ADVERSITY. PROVERBS 17:17 KJV.
Getting to the root of things…and I guess I am thinking of bitterness, unforgiveness or even hate.
I am in the garden this morning, and I have a small patch of land that has been invaded by this plant that has taken over the ground so nothing else can grow. And I just thought….
You know there are things that can take root in our spirits, and they block the blessings. They block our growth, they block our spiritual fruits, from coming forth. And I just thought of my own life.
I thought, of how I have had so many spiritual battles. So many physical fights. So many times, I have had to try and defend myself, because of some of the enemies I have had. Even friends, who have loved me, but abandoned me, and you know what this root is symbolic.
Its symbolic, to the point, where I don’t care any more, whether, or not, some have loved me or not. Or they said they were my friend, but they did not prove it. I have a sensitive soul, and I am very loving. But I realize not all do love me.
And so I release this root, and pull it up, and pray God bless those who have hurt me, who have not been true to me, who do not care about my calling, to serve God, and they show no love or support, or even those who have said they were my friend, but secretly hated me.
I release them.
I release those who were honest enough to not love me, and challenged me. I release everyone!
You see, life, is too short to have a bitter root, in my heart. And you know I have for the most part tried to be forgiving. But sometimes, it has affected me the way some have treated me. Well, I don’t care today.
And I pull that root up, and toss it in the trash where it belongs. I also though repent, and humble myself in the sight of God. Asking God to take it away from me.
So the other places of my heart can produce fruit, and I plant seeds of love, and hope, and holiness, from God.
So to each their own, I know with wisdom, we all deal with something or someone in one way or another. But why should we allow them space in our hearts, when they don’t care?
I do not want to reap hate, or discouragement from anybody any more. So there. Its gone, in the trash!
And in its place is a sense of the beauty of who God is to me, and there is no room there now for anything else.
My thought for the day…..
BUT HE ANSWERED AND SAID, EVERY PLANT, WHICH MY HEAVENLY FATHER HATH NOT PLANTED, SHALL BE ROOTED UP. MATTHEW 15:13
Funny thing about life, things don’t always stay the same way. Sure you might be optimistic, one moment but the next day you don’t feel that joy, or constant level of being secure, or confident, or even sure of whats next.
But God made us to depend on Him. And without Him, it just does not work. I know it in my life.
Thats the way God made us. And sometimes, you think you learned a lesson in life, and then you go and do the same dumb thing over again. That could be sin, or it could be just that you take for granted grace, that is extended to you. And God needs to correct you.
The wonderful thing is, God has made a way through Jesus Christ. HE IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH, AND LIFE. John 14:6. And sometimes, when your not sure of the path, or the lessons of life, you need THERAPY.
Therapy, that comes from Gods Holy word. The King James Bible. I love Gods holy word, just for that. No other word will do, because they are not holy.
I cannot even count the times, I have found an answer, or a sense of God speaking to me, to counsel me, or to show me, my sins, or mistakes, in His Holy word, my King James bible.
There are wonders, and secrets, that can get you back on the right track, so you can fulfill your journey. For by His stripes we are healed. Isaiah 53:5. And that includes, the mind, the soul, the spirit, the body……
You see none of us are righteous, none of us. We all need God. But it is His way. Not ours, that works. Just ask Him…..
AS IT IS WRITTEN, THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS, NO, NOT ONE.
There is a danger to being obsessed with people. And my goodness, I feel such a strong stirring in my heart to write this. I am not sure who it is for, or meant to address, but I will write obedient, as the Holy Spirit prompts me.
Again, I do not know who this is meant for. All my friends, and acquaintances, seem to have a healthy grasp on this. But for whoever it is meant for, I pray you take it to heart.
What makes someone obsessed over someone else? Hmmm. Well I want to list a few scenarios, and then add the Lords thoughts through my thoughts to it.
This could be a spoken obsession, or an obsession, in the mind.
But if it is in the mind, it is part of the spirit. And just a thought but is the spirit from God, or the devil, in its contribution to what you think? You need to see that.
When it is a spoken obsession, it could be because you admire someone and have told them that. It could be that they have rejected you, and so you feel wounded. It could be from an old lover, a friend, or even an enemy. So you think about it, but you think and think, and think about it. Your mind is constantly on that person, and it is unhealthy.
You admire them so greatly, or may even hate them so much in an unhealthy way you could be in danger of “obsessing” to the point, that you cannot handle rejection. Or wanting even to reject them. And you could do something you regret.
You need to see it now.
It could be from someone you know, or someone you see like on television, etc. So you may even stalk them or try to get their attention etc.
When it is an obsession in the mind, you constantly think of them, even though they do not know, and your behavior changes. Where you may try to get their attention even though you do not exist to them, you want to be seen, you want to compete, you want to let them know, you are there.
You want their attention as much as you have given “thought” to them.
Friend, do you sense how unhealthy this is? Maybe you think about someone constantly, and they could care less?
I can only relate this to my own experiences, and I want to share something personal, so maybe it can help someone.
But years ago, I met a man. A very handsome man, and I fell so in love with this man. He never courted me, he frankly was not interested, yet, I began this “obsession” and would think of him, and dream of him, and told him, I loved him. I told him, no one else could love him like I could.
Which at that time, I thought was true. But he did not care, and in fact, he rejected me, and hurt me, so bad, I thought I would die.
I did not, praise God.
You see, I met my husband, and I have had a very fruitful marriage. A holy marriage, where we made Christ first, and where His spirit, has brought us together in holy matrimony.
Which is why even here, if I could briefly put it in words, it is unhealthy to have sex with someone, and link on to that spiritual bondage, in a soul tie. Because it is sin.
Being obsessed with other people is sin, in Gods eyes. They become an idol. And well if you know God, you know He is a jealous God, and this is just one more principle to consider in pleasing Him, and having a healthy spirit.
Is your obsession, turning that person into an idol? Hmmm.
I had put so much energy into this person, for such a long time, it just was not healthy for myself. But I finally saw, that it was never going to happen, and I let go.
That was the healthiest thing I could do for myself. I have been careful since then not to give a lot of attention to anyone in the sense, where I could be in a position to be rejected, or to obsess with them, and have unhealthy expectations.
You know what? Sometimes we think people are the prize. But really if we know who we were in Christ and what we can do, with Christ as the prize, we are in heritage of our Lord through Christ, as sons and daughters of our Lord, with a holy heritage.
We are royalty in Christ, and royalty does not have to beg for people to love us, or where we have to obsess about them. Don’t give yourself away. You are worth more then you know.
Don’t try and manipulate a situation with your obsession. Did you know that is like witchcraft in the eyes of God?
Do you see where I am going with this? Friends, all I know, that God is a jealous God, and if we want to be healthy in our own spirits, we have to learn to give Him all of our attention in the sense, that we do not lose our “balance” in this.
This is why probably some people keep going back to the same type of people, in relationships. Because this is the pattern they have established, not knowing the difference. Oh but with Christ, what a beautiful difference and heritage we can have. This is why obedience to God, can lead to other blessings, yes including love, but ensuring our salvation first.
Where we find a good place yes to love people, but where we reserve a place first for Christ, and then yes for ourselves. Not giving into unhealthy obsessions, where first of all people who see that, can use that to hurt you. Where they would take advantage of you. Use you. Nobody wants to be used, and not even God. Like I said, He is not an ATM machine.
We have to find respect for our own self, to yes love, but not to obsess, or to become someone’s door mat, or find we are being rejected by people. If they have rejected you, respect that, and let it go.
And here is a thought, obsessing with jealousy? Don’t do that. You are worth more then you think. And God is jealous for you.
Seriously, it goes back to when you are young, and trying to make friends for example. I learned the harder I tried to be friends sometimes with people, it turned them off.
No one likes to be intruded on, by someones advances, and when you like people, and want to be friends, it should be mutual. Being a pest etc. This is why obsessing, especially in the mind with people, and just creating thoughts about them is not healthy as well. For there is no foundation in the friendship.
So I reserve to give myself some dignity, in not over doing it, in my efforts.
Friend, again, I do not know who you are, but whatever anyone has done, or not done, you need to let it go. You need to quit thinking about that person, obsessing about them, or even following them, on social media, or where ever.
Let the obsession go, you may be lonely. God understands this, but you need to see the direction of your obsession, and give it to God to help you let go. He can fill that void. That place in your heart that you are spending so much time belongs to God. And only God.
I hope this helps you, whoever you are. Let go and give it to God, be free from obsession. People cannot fill that only God can.
For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another. (Galatians 5:17-24, 26 KJV)
I sense Obsessing about others is in this list. Where the spirit struggles with the flesh. Let it go, give it to Christ. Share this link if you think it could help someone.
Blessings, and love, Elena Ramirez
Friendship….what does it mean to you? There are some people we call friends, but do we know them, truly?
I mean, we ask to be friends here, on FB, Twitter and other Social media outlets and some folks we know, and some we do not know. But what is our expectation? Do we want to build true friendships? Or just collect people?
Or if we are Christians, do we want to find people, who believe like we do? So we can call on them to pray? Or we can be there for them to pray for them? Or to chat now and then because as Christians we should relate to each other.
Every one has their reason to be a friend or not to be a friend. And I know, myself, I do cherish you folks. And yes, there are some of you, that I love so dearly. Even though, we have never met….
But, I have unfriended people myself, or blocked them because of differences, in the way one relates as well. Sometimes, you know people you have called them friends, and yet something happens, and it changes everything. And sadly some friendships have been broken.
I have learned some things here, about myself, and how important it is to be friends with Christ first. Things that He expects in friendship is loyalty, being humble, being kind, overlooking differences.
Forgiving….Yet, He is my savior, so there is more that I have to look at to honor Him. So obedience has to come into the foundation to always think and be as He is in love.
And because of that….I think one thing I have learned if someone is a Christian, we are supposed to be brothers and sisters. No, ifs, buts or maybe. And as brothers and sisters we are called to love one another. This is what God commanded us.
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy self. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:37-40
True friendships though, need a foundation. They need to have something in common. And if one person does not work at the friendship and the other one does, wow….what a let down. Communication is important, but lets be honest, sometimes we cannot always communicate. So grace must be extended.
But it is kind of a drag, when you work at the friendship, and the other person does not. It seems to be one sided. And I admit, I get weary, when I don’t see progress. Or they do not appreciate me, or my attempts. In friendship. I am not trying to brag, but I think I am a good friend, because of Christ. I think I can bless a friend. I have a lot of love, but when it is not appreciated, I learn to put a shield on my heart.
I have learned to choose Christ, over friends. When I saw the way they truly thought, and learned that they did not agree in faith with me, well I have walked away. After I saw their true colors. It hurt me, as it may have that person, but some influences are not good. And we have to choose Christ first. I have to choose His ways, He is my greatest friend.
We need to develop friendships, that are based on Christ. Christ was a friend to all, but his closest friends were His disciples. Yet there was Judas, and Judas betrayed Christ. Oh those feelings of betrayal, and pain, we get when we trust people, and they let us down.
We need to be mature, we need to give someone respect, we need to see even if we are right, that it is better to be kind, then to reject them. And there are times, we don’t know, so we pray.
I have seen a few articles that touch base on this, and the affects of being unfriended, or rejected in a social media forum. And people do get wounded. So even though we are behind our computers, we need to think about that other person. But more then anything, I want God to be pleased by the way I react or communicate with someone, in these forums. As a friend….
Well, anyway, I don’t know why or how to always understand….but I pray for wisdom in my friendships. I am learning, it is a process, so lets all be kind to one another, as we grow together with Christ.
Just sharing right now…..I love you my friends. I want to help you. I want to help others by my writings. I don’t want to point fingers, because hey it could be pointed back at me.
But I really do want to be a true friend in Christ.
I may be wearing my heart on my sleeve right now, but I long for true friends. Friends who care, and friends who are loyal, and honest, but care about my feelings, even if I am wrong. But they will use discretion to talk. I long for true Christian friends, who are true in Christ.
But don’t just unfriend me, or reject me. That is the most saddest feeling to have a friend walk away, and you don’t know why. Especially if that friend was a Christian. I think the most wounded feeling I have ever had is to be rejected by people I loved, and called them either a brother or sister in Christ. And it has happened to me, and it broke my heart, for a long time. Because I loved these people.
To be rejected by them goes back to how I imagine Christ must have felt by Judas.
At least if I do walk away, I will tell you why. I hope to anyway.
Just a thought about friendship in Christ. Thank you Priscilla, for being witness in the spirit, to bring this post out. To ask me to write about friendship.
I wrote it earlier, but felt it was too much at the moment, but God knows…
With love, Elena Ramirez
Lord, help me to be the kind of friend you want me to be in Christ. Thank you Lord. You are my greatest friend, and you never unfriend me. In fact, you search for me. And teach me. As I search for you. I want to feel like you feel. And honor your feelings, as my greatest friend. In whatever situation, Lord there is no greater friend then you. In Jesus name, Amen
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity…..Proverbs 17:17
If interested in reading my book via Smashwords, go to this link.”HOW TO HAVE FAITH” ON SMASHWORDS…..
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