Friendship….what does it mean to you? There are some people we call friends, but do we know them, truly?
I mean, we ask to be friends here, on FB, Twitter and other Social media outlets and some folks we know, and some we do not know. But what is our expectation? Do we want to build true friendships? Or just collect people?
Or if we are Christians, do we want to find people, who believe like we do? So we can call on them to pray? Or we can be there for them to pray for them? Or to chat now and then because as Christians we should relate to each other.
Every one has their reason to be a friend or not to be a friend. And I know, myself, I do cherish you folks. And yes, there are some of you, that I love so dearly. Even though, we have never met….
But, I have unfriended people myself, or blocked them because of differences, in the way one relates as well. Sometimes, you know people you have called them friends, and yet something happens, and it changes everything. And sadly some friendships have been broken.
I have learned some things here, about myself, and how important it is to be friends with Christ first. Things that He expects in friendship is loyalty, being humble, being kind, overlooking differences.
Forgiving….Yet, He is my savior, so there is more that I have to look at to honor Him. So obedience has to come into the foundation to always think and be as He is in love.
And because of that….I think one thing I have learned if someone is a Christian, we are supposed to be brothers and sisters. No, ifs, buts or maybe. And as brothers and sisters we are called to love one another. This is what God commanded us.
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy self. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:37-40
True friendships though, need a foundation. They need to have something in common. And if one person does not work at the friendship and the other one does, wow….what a let down. Communication is important, but lets be honest, sometimes we cannot always communicate. So grace must be extended.
But it is kind of a drag, when you work at the friendship, and the other person does not. It seems to be one sided. And I admit, I get weary, when I don’t see progress. Or they do not appreciate me, or my attempts. In friendship. I am not trying to brag, but I think I am a good friend, because of Christ. I think I can bless a friend. I have a lot of love, but when it is not appreciated, I learn to put a shield on my heart.
I have learned to choose Christ, over friends. When I saw the way they truly thought, and learned that they did not agree in faith with me, well I have walked away. After I saw their true colors. It hurt me, as it may have that person, but some influences are not good. And we have to choose Christ first. I have to choose His ways, He is my greatest friend.
We need to develop friendships, that are based on Christ. Christ was a friend to all, but his closest friends were His disciples. Yet there was Judas, and Judas betrayed Christ. Oh those feelings of betrayal, and pain, we get when we trust people, and they let us down.
We need to be mature, we need to give someone respect, we need to see even if we are right, that it is better to be kind, then to reject them. And there are times, we don’t know, so we pray.
I have seen a few articles that touch base on this, and the affects of being unfriended, or rejected in a social media forum. And people do get wounded. So even though we are behind our computers, we need to think about that other person. But more then anything, I want God to be pleased by the way I react or communicate with someone, in these forums. As a friend….
Well, anyway, I don’t know why or how to always understand….but I pray for wisdom in my friendships. I am learning, it is a process, so lets all be kind to one another, as we grow together with Christ.
Just sharing right now…..I love you my friends. I want to help you. I want to help others by my writings. I don’t want to point fingers, because hey it could be pointed back at me.
But I really do want to be a true friend in Christ.
I may be wearing my heart on my sleeve right now, but I long for true friends. Friends who care, and friends who are loyal, and honest, but care about my feelings, even if I am wrong. But they will use discretion to talk. I long for true Christian friends, who are true in Christ.
But don’t just unfriend me, or reject me. That is the most saddest feeling to have a friend walk away, and you don’t know why. Especially if that friend was a Christian. I think the most wounded feeling I have ever had is to be rejected by people I loved, and called them either a brother or sister in Christ. And it has happened to me, and it broke my heart, for a long time. Because I loved these people.
To be rejected by them goes back to how I imagine Christ must have felt by Judas.
At least if I do walk away, I will tell you why. I hope to anyway.
Just a thought about friendship in Christ. Thank you Priscilla, for being witness in the spirit, to bring this post out. To ask me to write about friendship.
I wrote it earlier, but felt it was too much at the moment, but God knows…
With love, Elena Ramirez
Lord, help me to be the kind of friend you want me to be in Christ. Thank you Lord. You are my greatest friend, and you never unfriend me. In fact, you search for me. And teach me. As I search for you. I want to feel like you feel. And honor your feelings, as my greatest friend. In whatever situation, Lord there is no greater friend then you. In Jesus name, Amen
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity…..Proverbs 17:17
If interested in reading my book via Smashwords, go to this link.”HOW TO HAVE FAITH” ON SMASHWORDS…..
If interested in ordering the Paper Back go to this link. http://howtohavefaith.wordpress.com
Disclaimer: Reader Please Note, Do this, or do not do this at your own risk. These are my thoughts, but you make your own decision. My only motive and goal, is to bring hope to the hopeless, to those who have been disrespected. Or feel they have no options. Your not helpless! Pray about it, and ask God. He will guide you.
September 2, 2012.
Curses, I have seen enough of them in my life, in my families lives, and others. I believe God has given me discernment, and understanding, as to how they can happen. But this post, is not about that, in the sense, that even though, I could write about them. I will not. There are some things, one may understand the mystery of, but you don’t give it away. Especially, in a public forum like this. No, if the right publisher or the resources came, yes, I would publish my writings on this.
But, I want to talk about demanding respect, and yes apologies, to break the curses. In your own life. So you can be healed. So you can grow. So you can have the confidence, that only Christ can give. So, I give this away, from my heart, if it will help anyone. To grow, to change, to be the person, they should be.
There are times, when you should demand respect, and an apology, and then there are times when you don’t you let grace, come in. And you extend it, as Christ would. But know this, Christ was not a pushover. He told you truth. Sometimes, even over throwing tables, in anger, but it was truth. He was not a pushover!
Some people, will see your niceness, and consider it a weakness. They will challenge you, they will try to make themselves superior over you. Yes we are to treat people equally, but you need to be on guard. Because they do not walk in love. You need to be on guard to know this. To stand on your own merit, in Christ. But to be aware, that some people are not nice, and will take advantage of you, if you let them. Don’t let them. Respect yourself!
I consider myself, a nice person, a very nice person. I believe I have the heart of Christ. I am compassionate, I am caring, for my brothers and sisters, for the world. For even helpless, little animals, that are abused. I care that people, grow. That they have a sense of who they can be in Christ. For it is Christ that makes all the difference in a persons life. He miraculously, changes us, to be like Him. In love.
But it takes an awareness, it takes, obedience. I have learned to be humble. I have learned, from my experiences, why it is so important to have a flexible spirit in the Lord. So, He can teach me. So, I can be used by Him. I am always aware of the characteristics of the devil. And pride, is an ugly thing. It blocks love. It blocks our blessings. But I am more aware of who Christ is, and who I can be in Christ. The greatest of love, comes from Him. His holiness. Thats where the victory is!
So, I write this, not to puff myself up. Not to say its me, but to give glory to God. For, no, it is the Lord, who has taught me, and yes shaped me, from even the experiences, I have had, where people did not respect me. From even fights from my childhood. Knowing, how cruel people can be. Nor did they care, if they wounded me, and left me to die spiritually. Even from family.
But it is Christ, who has taught me to fight. And fight a good fight of faith. Not like the world. Not like the devil. But in prayer, on my knees, walking in love. Walking in His truth. This is how I have now learned to fight. Knowing I do not fight flesh and blood, but principalities in high places. Ephesians 6:12. So I put on the armor of God. To withstand in the evil day. You know the Lord, is gracious, He is kind, He is merciful, in things, but in His ways, this is what, I also hope to fashion myself after.
But lets get one thing straight right away. God is not mocked. God, may let you think you have gotten away with something, but He will have His final say. So, I see how my Lord is in this. I know, I sin, I come short of His glory. But, I see, the favor, and blessings, of integrity, and honor, when you respect yourself. In Christ. And for the record, because God is not mocked, if you are obedient to God, He will defend you, when you are mocked. Because you are His servant. People have no idea, the curses that brings when you come against a servant of God.
If we only judged ourselves……but if people do not have that discernment to apologize, and to treat you kindly. It is your responsibility, to demand respect and apologies. You are not meant to be someones punching board. Or someones stepping mat. With words or with physical abuse. There are some people, who will not give you that respect, if you demand it. So be aware of it, even now as I write. But those people, are not worth your company, or your love. So let them go. Life is too short, to keep trying to make a wrong right. Or to break the curse in them.
There will be a time, when you see, that nothing you can do, stops this. That you have done all you can. By praying etc. You tell me even now; Elena you have no idea. My demanding respect, will not change this. Then get away! God will make a way. Even here I implore you, be safe. Do not return evil for evil. Do not get into unforgiveness, or even revenge. Get away from the devil. Get away from the traps, for your own good, and peace of mind.
Maybe you cannot even demand apologies. Maybe this is a situation, where someone is in authority over you. So you have to keep your cool. But you can demand for yourself, a better way of doing things. Through Christ. God will provide. But do not stay in a place, where even your meager requests are not honored. Or where there is abuse. No one should have to go through this. Just be wise! Pray!
Have not I commanded thee? Be strong, and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever, thou goest. Joshua 1:9
You need to break the curse in yourself, and in your own life. For your own well being, for your peace. For your self-esteem. For your strength, that only Christ can give that. For you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. The only way, to do that is by Love. It takes love, Gods love to strengthen you, to recognize, when people do not honor you, or respect you. If you see the key signals, like avoidance, defiance, judgement, etc. These people do not love you.
You are hoping, against hope, that they would honor you. But if you do not train people, to respect you. They won’t. You do not react as they do. With words, with vengeance, or with returning evil for evil. No you, speak words, that edify yourself, that person, and more then anything that brings glory to God. You speak Gods word, for He says your the head, and not the tail, as you obey Him. He says you can do all things through Him for He strengthens you. He tells you, that you will be hated. But that He has overcome the world. And so can you.
But do this, knowing this word. From God. He that reproveth a scorner, getteth to himself shame: and he that rebuketh a wicked man getteth himself a blot. Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wiseman and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser, teach a just man and he will increase in learning. Proverbs 9:7-9.
So who are you dealing with? Someone wise, who honors God, or someone who is just rambling. Who is a scorner. Look at the clues. Proceed with caution….
He has so many promises, but you have to find them in His Holy word, and again I interject, look at the King James Bible for the powerful words, that shows you who you are, and how to live life in Him. He sent His word to heal us, and deliver us from destruction. Psalm 107:20 (paraphrasing)
Someone recently told me that words are just words. And that just told me, how little this person knew. For we have power, of life and death in our tongue. Proverbs 18:21. Read it from the King James version. Even though, they tried to puff themselves, in pride at me. When I started recognizing that spirit, that was not humble, not considerate of me. I knew I only had one option, and that was demand an apology, and respect. I was not going to get into the curse, of unforgiveness. Or to continue in an argument, that really was to be honest, not making any sense. It was so trivial.
And I will say this even here. Because the Lord commands me, to forgive others I do so automatically. I do so with a heart to please my Lord, because He has forgiven me of my sins. I know the difference. With forgiveness, and without it. And I would rather have it, so I ask God for it. With a humble heart even daily. I pray to keep my heart soft and tender. So, I have forgiven everyone, who has hurt me, offended me, treated me shabbily, and who has not for the record, apologized to me. This has healed me, and comforted me, so much, that I do not have a root of bitterness. But you have to nip it, at the seed.
But I do not have to accept disrespect, or defiance. Rudeness, rude words, or someone who is totally inconsiderate to me. Thats not extending grace, that is giving someone permission to treat you rude over and over again, unless you break that cycle.
You have to recognize, and respect yourself, to demand that respect, and that apology. I mentioned, in my last post, about sending love, breaking curses, making amends with family. Because you only get one family. But, I mentioned, my own immediate family, with God, as our foundation, and my husband and son. Well one thing, that works for us, is we demand apologies, if that person offends. If that person, in our family, says something, that is mean, or cruel, or insensitive.
We stop, we say “Hey, I want an apology.” And that family person, stops, recognizes the injustice of it, and yes does apologize. This is one reason, why we have unity. It is called respect. It does not mean, that the other person, is right or wrong. But when you say something, you are held accountable.
They are not just words. You cannot sling words, without, knowing this comes from the abundance of your heart. And what is ruling your heart, God or the devil? Do you want to really wound others with words, when you can control them, for your own good?
So when this happens, you have to stand your ground. You have to break the curses. This may be hard, for someone, but I would rather, respect myself, and respect who I am in Christ, then to continue, not growing, or not changing to who I should be in Christ. So I have learned this.
People will treat you, the way you let them treat you. Isn’t it time to break the curses in your own life? You do it with Gods love. For him, for yourself, and for others. You know with discernment, the difference. Christ sacrificed for you, on the cross, so you could see who you can be in Him. To break curses.
I recommend, that you do write out your stipulations. Put it on paper, on the computer, on someones e-mail etc. And format, and make it a contract, that these things must be done. Write them a letter. Mail it! Explain, why you want an apology. Don’t just throw it out there, if someone, is just mocking you and disrespecting you anyway. Make sure, they know you are serious. Some will just erase your thoughts anyway, but if you can make sure they do read it, so send it in various ways. Send the message, that you will not be treated shabby, and you do not appreciate defiance, and disrespect. Tell them!
Write it out, write out your stipulations. So they can even see later, the error, of their ways. This is not judging them. This is discerning, when people are not being who they should be as well in Christ. This is telling them, enough. This is what you have done. I am communicating this, because it is wrong. I will not argue with you back and forth. These are my standards, respect them, or leave me alone. Like I said, don’t be surprised if they do leave you alone.
But at least you have stopped the curse. You have rebuked the devil, in the name of Jesus. You have stopped the curse of someones mean, and cruel words. You have reversed the curse! Don’t you dare, let them tell you something that is so against who you are in Christ, that belittles you! Tell them no, this is not true. I am a child of God! You then have gained ground. You have stood still, and let the Lord fight the battle. For the battle is the Lords…..
Pray for these people. Pray the best for them. For you see, that someone hurt them, and they did the only thing they knew. To protect themselves. They learned the sin of offending. No one apologized to them. They do not know how. They are defiant, and disrespectful. But…..Don’t be like them. Break the cycle, break the curse. Always be careful. For we don’t know how people will react. But you can protect yourself. And gain, self-esteem. Again forgive, but do not get caught up in the curse of this. Grow in Christ, and His love.
And with this last thought, as I conclude. Demanding respect does not always mean you are “demanding.” In asking for an apology. It could also be saying, I love you, I am being firm in this, because I want God to bless you too. Knowing, God lifts the humble, but turns from the proud. If you see this, and have a change of heart, then your on the way, to the blessings….
Likewise ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility; for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time. I Peter 5:5-6
Blessings, in Christ, Just my Thoughts, Elena Ramirez
Father, I thank you, I praise you, I exalt you. I honor you. I pray, for any thought, or any word, that I say, be brought to the obedience of Christ. I pray, to know who I am in Christ. Lord, I do want to always have a forgiving heart. But I see you. I see that you are demanding, for us to obey you. Your commandments, your authority. I know in order, to reap blessings, I have to honor and respect others as well. But I do not have to become someones, stepping stone. Or used to be a punching bag, because they are frustrated. Or they do not know how to walk in love. I thank you for what you have been teaching me, about curses, and breaking them. I thank you, that you teach me to honor myself, because of Christ. Not being puffed up, or rude, for love, is not that. Love is kind, love is considerate. And even here, I write your words. To guide me, to guide whoever needs to see this. Lord send angels to protect. To comfort. This could cover so much, and as I write it, someone could see it, and it means something totally different, because of their circumstances, so I want to be careful, but we need you first and foremost. I pray all who is in need of wisdom in this, would seek you first, and foremost. Help them! In Jesus name. Amen
Charity (love) suffereth long, and is kind, charity (love) envieth not, charity (love) vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easy provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth. Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity (Love) never fails…I Corinthians 13:4-8
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