WHEN PEOPLE CROSS YOUR BOUNDARIES YOU MAY NEED TO BE CRUEL TO BE KIND FOR SELF-RESPECT ~
By Christian Author….Elena Ramirez
Sometimes you have to see there are boundaries no one should ever cross in respect. And sometimes you do have to be cruel to be kind, especially when you love people. You say enough is enough.
You realize if you don’t, you will lose your own self respect. And that’s a curse, because you don’t see, you are a child of the King. Sometimes we have to realize who we are in Christ, and what Christ did for us, on that cross, cleanses us. By His grace.
We are the head, and not the tail!
AND THE LORD SHALL MAKE THEE THE HEAD, AND NOT THE TAIL: AND THOU SHALT BE ABOVE ONLY, AND THOU SHALT NOT BE BENEATH: IF THOU HEARKEN UNTO THE COMMANDMENTS OF THE LORD THY GOD, WHICH I COMMAND THEE THIS DAY, TO OBSEVE AND TO DO THEM. DEUTERONOMY 28:13. KJV.
And nobody should ever go past the boundaries of respect. EVER!
It is sad, but sometimes, people mistake a good nature, a kindness, as weakness, and they challenge that. They cross boundaries. But it is a strength to be kind, and nice, but there are those boundaries, where you say no more.
You then become cruel to be kind. You stand up for yourself, and what is right, in the sight of God. With courage. You call it for what it is, with truth. Because the truth sets us all free.
This is how it is I believe with God. He is extending grace to all of us. But there will be a time, when hell will be paid, if we do not see His ways. And repent, because we reap what we sow. And His wrath will be revealed.
Do you see why I have fear of God? Because I do.
But, I know the difference, with people. It’s not a matter of pride, it’s a matter of dignity. And when someone realizes they crossed that boundary and is accountable they grow! Apologies. Respect go hand in hand. Gods grace is not silent.
It seems, I meet a lot of people who try to cross my boundaries, with disrespect. Well I rebuke that as well, I am breaking this cycle by sadly walking away. By being mean to be kind.
It seems people cross that boundary. In matters of my faith, in matters of friendship, in matters of privacy, and even in matters of common courtesy.
I guess, I have just come from a place, where I say enough is enough. Where I may even sound, or seem hurtful myself, and I have come out swinging. And my nature as a warrior, is contributed by that, because I did have to fight to survive. Growing up.
Yet, I cannot let someone steal my peace, so I walk away. Oh I know, I cannot cross boundaries myself, and I must maintain self-control. I must be careful not to return evil for evil. Am I perfect at this? No. Sadly but I do repent. And strive for His excellence in these matters.
And I have loved people, and sadly, many have walked away, or I walked away from them, because they showed no respect. There are personal boundaries, that I will not allow someone to cross. And the worst lately, for me, is the silent treatment.
I will not tolerate that. Because it is a sign of rejection. And a sign of disrespect. Its a form of manipulation, to punish me, when I know, I did not deserve that.
I will not tolerate, obscenities to be spoken about me, or against me. Or gestures that may not be spoken but that are the same. As an obscenity. I will not tolerate lies, as well. I know who I am, in Christ.
For me, its a matter, of maintaining my dignity, in Christ. When I know I have forgiven. Others. When I know, I do not deserve treatment like that, because I am a child of the King.
I may sound harsh. I may sound mean. But if I have to be cruel to be kind, then maybe the person, who is being used by the enemy will see their own errors. No! I will not take that.
I will speak truth, because thats the only thing that sets us free. And maybe thats why I am hated. But I would rather please my God, then people.
And I am determined to prove my trustworthiness to God. It is my goal. But I cannot do that if I myself, am in denial. And not walking in love. And not doing my part, to maintain who I am in Christ. He sees, everything, and why people don’t grasp that is beyond me.
But oh well…. I cannot be cowardly in these matters of finding my own dignity, and respect.
See we all have to grow. If we really want to have a healthy spirit, with Christ. And there are boundaries, we sometimes have to see, and say no, enough is enough.
Now if people are smart enough they will see the error of their own ways, and not cross those boundaries, but also, repent to God, and apologize to those you have taken advantage of disrespectfully.
That spirit comes from the enemy. There are clues, that indicate this:
1. A spirit of manipulation. (are you trying to make someone do something, by being manipulative? ) Thats wrong, and dishonest in the sight of God.
2. Are you being a false witness? Are you accusing someone else, because you just want to be vindictive? You need to really see the error of your own ways…..
3. Do you really forgive, or do you bring it back up? And if you do forgive, then forgive but don’t throw something back at someones face to be a false witness. Thats a lie from hell to do so. Because forgiveness is covered by the blood of Jesus.
4. Are you jealous? That spirit, leads right to the devil, for that is one of his characteristics. You have to see it.
5. Are you in denial? You cannot see your own errors, but you try to put it on someone else disrespectfully? That is wrong, in the sight of God, and you will never grow.
6. Do you have the spirit of pride? That pride will always try to puff yourself up, and you will never admit your own wrong doing, because you cannot bear to let anybody see you humble. Thats so wrong.
7. Do you walk out of love, and make it all about you. How narcissistic that is, and again, another characteristic from the devil. SELF.
Yes, walking away hurts. Especially when you love people. But I have learned, as much as I do hate confrontation, I have to confront people like that. And tell them, what bothers me, so I can get my own dignity back with respect.
And either they take it for what its worth, and see the error of their own ways. Or they do not. But I do not need friendships that are not based on any kind of mutual respect. I do not need to be anybodies punching bag.
Being cruel to be kind, does not cross lines as well. Returning evil for evil. And I know for my own part, it may seem harsh, and evil as well.
But I repent. And thats the difference, because I know, the only way God will guide me, and help me grow, is if I am in that place of humbleness. Yes we all make mistakes, but I know the key is knowing who you are in Christ. Not crossing boundaries, and yes repenting, and apologizing.
Just sharing some thoughts today on the matter. You see, I need to get healthy myself spiritually, and I need to maintain those boundaries for my own growth in Christ. Sometimes you do put up walls, so you can protect yourself. So others will not cross that boundary.
Is that being cruel to be kind? I don’t know, all I know, is when I am done. And right now, I am done. Until I see something to change my mind and heart, back to respect.
HE THAT HATH NO RULE OVER HIS OWN SPIRIT IS LIKE A CITY THAT IS BROKEN DOWN, AND WITHOUT WALLS. PROVERBS 25:28 KJV.
Love and blessings,
Please Note: I was going to make this a “Note To Self”: For my new blog, which consists of a thoughts and prayer, with scripture as the format.
But was led to put it here. Blessings, check out my new blog…..sign up for it, and please share this. You may just help someone, who needs to see this truth. Love you in Christ, Elena
REMEMBER THE LOVE THE GOOD TIMES TO GO ON EVEN IF YOU ARE HURT ~ By Elena Ramirez
Sometimes, people have to speak things over us, by God so we can see it. So, this is what I will do for you, as my husband spoke this over me.
You see, I had a very dear friend, who I loved dearly. And we were friends for over 25 years. I loved this lady dearly, and you know what she loved me. She was a very generous lady, a very kind lady, in Christ. We both were prayer warriors.
But people change, and I suppose I did too. And well the enemy divided us up. I never thought, I would see that day, but it did happen.
And I won’t go into all the details, but when respect is not given or received, or when one is rejected, well one walks away. I did. Maybe I misunderstood, but since she would not clarify it, thats what I interpreted.
Anyway, long story short, its been over a month. Since we have talked. And I don’t expect her or me to budge in this. Its not that I have pride, but I know when I have done all I can and so, I know I could not add anything more.
But I found myself getting bitter about it, angry, yes I told her I forgave, and I do. But sometimes, you can war within yourself in these matters. I did.
Last night my husband and I were briefly talking about it. And I said, I just feel indifferent now. Not that I don’t care, because I do, but I just am disappointed.
He told me, you know, you need to just let it go. You outgrew each other, and just remember the good in her, she is a good person, and for what it was worth, she blessed you, you blessed her, and now its done. Its over.
Something about his words, ministered to me. I went to sleep finally at peace about it. I prayed God bless her. She is a very kind, and generous person, and she made me laugh, and we were good friends, but sometimes, things change.
People outgrow each other, for different reasons. I suppose she outgrew me, and not that I outgrew her, because I accepted her as she was.
But I accept her choices now, and I RESPECT, her reasons. Even though I do not understand. I can go on.
Perhaps, you struggle, with someone, from your past. Someone you love. A friendship, or even a love. Remember the love, the kindness, the friendship, and don’t demonize them, or hate them, but just release them, with the love, the good that bound you.
See you have to make sure poison, of unforgiveness does not affect you. You have to make sure you are doing your part according to Christ. I cannot control the situation, but I can control how I react to it. I release her in Christ, because she was a gift.
There is a saying, if you love someone, let them go, and if they are yours they will return. I love my friend, enough to walk away, and let her go. I don’t seek to return, to her, nor do I think she seeks to return to me. It is what it is. But I accept it now, with forgiveness in my heart.
But I have peace, and thank God for the times, we were friends, it nurtured me, and I rejoice in the gift of what it was then. It was a gift.
But some gifts, are returned to the sender. No matter what the heart felt intention was. If it was not true, it will show itself. See gifts are just something that is icing on the cake.
But if the sentiment, does not follow up with respect it does not prove itself.
Oh well. God bless your day.
By Elena Ramirez
A FRIEND LOVETH AT ALL TIMES, AND A BROTHER IS BORN FOR ADVERSITY. PROVERBS 17:17 KJV.
Getting to the root of things…and I guess I am thinking of bitterness, unforgiveness or even hate.
I am in the garden this morning, and I have a small patch of land that has been invaded by this plant that has taken over the ground so nothing else can grow. And I just thought….
You know there are things that can take root in our spirits, and they block the blessings. They block our growth, they block our spiritual fruits, from coming forth. And I just thought of my own life.
I thought, of how I have had so many spiritual battles. So many physical fights. So many times, I have had to try and defend myself, because of some of the enemies I have had. Even friends, who have loved me, but abandoned me, and you know what this root is symbolic.
Its symbolic, to the point, where I don’t care any more, whether, or not, some have loved me or not. Or they said they were my friend, but they did not prove it. I have a sensitive soul, and I am very loving. But I realize not all do love me.
And so I release this root, and pull it up, and pray God bless those who have hurt me, who have not been true to me, who do not care about my calling, to serve God, and they show no love or support, or even those who have said they were my friend, but secretly hated me.
I release them.
I release those who were honest enough to not love me, and challenged me. I release everyone!
You see, life, is too short to have a bitter root, in my heart. And you know I have for the most part tried to be forgiving. But sometimes, it has affected me the way some have treated me. Well, I don’t care today.
And I pull that root up, and toss it in the trash where it belongs. I also though repent, and humble myself in the sight of God. Asking God to take it away from me.
So the other places of my heart can produce fruit, and I plant seeds of love, and hope, and holiness, from God.
So to each their own, I know with wisdom, we all deal with something or someone in one way or another. But why should we allow them space in our hearts, when they don’t care?
I do not want to reap hate, or discouragement from anybody any more. So there. Its gone, in the trash!
And in its place is a sense of the beauty of who God is to me, and there is no room there now for anything else.
My thought for the day…..
BUT HE ANSWERED AND SAID, EVERY PLANT, WHICH MY HEAVENLY FATHER HATH NOT PLANTED, SHALL BE ROOTED UP. MATTHEW 15:13
I do want to be a nice person, but I want to be one who speaks truth in love. I am older now, and I have really, in all actuality tried to be a nice person. All of my life.
But that did not stop me from getting into physical battles, and yes spiritual ones. Because there usually is someone who will challenge you, even when you are trying to be nice. Or speaking truth.
And it just made me think, because recently, I had an opposing thought from someone, who more or less challenged me, and it made me think. I walked in love with this person, for the most part, but they brought up feelings that made me think, how dare they challenge me, when they say hypocritical things. Things I have seen them write. And I thought about the poison, that can bring in. I repented.
You know, I want to be nice. But not for the sake of denying Christ. Or to please someone else. To just be a people pleaser. Yet I know, truth can cut. It can wound. It can divide people. I know.
I have lost a lot of friends, because I have spoken truth. But I am not going to change my way to be nice, and to see someone I love, or care about, go down the wrong road, or near the fire, and say it harshly, or even abruptly, don’t do that, that will burn you. Or to warn them about someone who does not speak truth.
So I speak truth. Praying it will make them see the truth. Gods truth. As a warning of love. Praying they will see what Christ did on the cross for us, and that anybody else who denies Christ as the way, the truth, and life, is someone we should not look up to as leaders.
I am not perfect. I have made bad judgment calls. Even in truth. And the thing is, we can be deceived, if we don’t know Gods whole truth. I add that word “whole” because I believe in the King James Bible.
Yet, many other bible versions are not “whole” and complete, because they have missing scriptures, the content is changed, because the context is changed, and they are corrupt. Its disobedience, to use anything that God has warned us not to change or add to or delete. He has warned us throughout my King James, not to do that.
I have used this analogy before, but Christ is the bread of life. He would not give us junk food. When He serves us. But those bible versions, have mold on them. Mold because they disregarded Gods warnings, and when we share or give scripture and use scripture that has been changed. There is no true anointing and holiness. It therefore then becomes junk food. They are corrupted.
Yes, there may be some truth to the scripture but because it was changed, it is now part truth, part lie. I warn people all the time, and so many are totally annoyed and withdrawn from me, because I speak this truth.
Oh I am not fooled. People, come and go, but they keep me at a distance, because of this truth, I believe in. Churches, that once embraced me ignore me. Leaders in the body of Christ won’t even give me the time of day, when I speak to them.
Well, it is what it is. I know I am just me, and some people look at me, and think I am foolish, as they define this truth as just nonsense. But they do not see, they are blind. Yet their intellectual reasoning, and defiance, is foolishness to God.
You would think by now, I would back off. But instead my armor of God has gotten stronger, and bolder. In His truth.
TO THE LAW AND TO THE TESTIMONY, IF THEY SPEAK NOT ACCORDING TO THIS WORD, IT IS BECAUSE THERE IS NO LIGHT IN THEM. ISAIAH 8;20.
All I can do is be obedient to God, and speak this truth. I will try and be nice about it, but I will never change my mind about this truth.
PLEASE DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH. COMPARE SCRIPTURES, AND SEE THE CHANGES. SEE THE MISSING SCRIPTURES. SEE THE DECEPTION, THAT THE ENEMY BRINGS TO DECEIVE, BY CHANGING GODS HOLY WORD. MORE THEN ANYTHING SEE THE SCRIPTURES THAT WARN ALL OF US NOT TO DO ANYTHING WITH GODS HOLY WORD!
Read at least Revelation 22:18-19 if you value your salvation. Read it from a King James Bible.
And if you perceive my caps as not being nice oh well. But I would rather please God, than anybody. Even in shouting it out.
I think my testimony in my life, is proving that, and I hope it always will reflect my loyalty to God in truth.
His truth, not mine, not yours, not some strange person who sat behind a desk, and came up with some bible that is not truth, but HIS!
Have a blessed day, Elena Ramirez
Sometimes, you have to look and see what makes a good friend. And sometimes, you have to understand, good friends, need to be loved and appreciated. Christ does that for me, as my greatest friend.
I know His sacrifice on the cross, and the beatings He took for me, and to pay the penalty of my sins, reminds me, how great a friend He is.
So how can I show Christ, my love, and that I appreciate, His great sacrifice?
It is the Christmas season right now. And I cannot explain it, but I feel something in the spiritual realm even in my own growth, and understanding, in gratitude, that I just want to stop, and concentrate on Christ more this season.
I get sad, because you know we all like nice things, but the world, people, even other Christians, seem to forget about what this season is all about. The reason for the season. And its Jesus!
Sometimes, growth, circumstances, poverty, lack, and yes even an abundance, can make you stop and see, and say. Is this what it really is all about?
I mean, we can really get caught up in the ways of the world. We can get caught up, in material things. The lack of, or the abundance. Where is the balance?
Right now, I just want to be a good friend to Christ. More then ever. I am a Christian, who has been a Christian for a few years now. And when I made the decision, to give it my all to Christ, I have not turned back. Yet, daily, I have to work on my relationship with Him.
So, as I ponder on this time of season, and I deal with issues of life, in my own personal life, my families, and I see the world, and I see issues, politically as well, and I see people, and how they feel. Well, I can get my eyes off of Christ.
And you know, I am just trying to sort it out, even as I write, because life is important. What you do with your life is important. How you look at life, and how you deal with situations. I am not perfect far from it. But being the old girl that I am now…..I can easily recall, how just searching for God, through Christ, has made a difference for me. There are so many things though, that I have not accomplished, or done, or been able to do, that can make me stumble. I don’t want to stumble.
So, I am just sorting my feelings out here, and just knowing how much I need to seek God more so. So many have the outlook, that you just receive your salvation, and thats it. You are safe. But, I don’t see it like that. I take the scriptures to heart, when it says, work out your salvation with trembling and fear. I take to heart, that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. I take to heart….
That I have my part in it. I have to discipline myself sometimes, I have to bring it all to the obedience of Christ.
And maybe you can relate to this, maybe not. But I actually get jealous, and angry for God, when people deny Him. When they say terrible things about God, when they mock Him. When they ignore Him……So I take this to heart….
I have to….right now I have to. I am not sure what I am feeling. Maybe it is sorrow, we did have a death in our family. Maybe it is a sense, that nothing is forever, unless it is with God. I am sad, this family member was so young. Why did it have to happen?
But even through this I know the answer is to press into God more! Not less, I can never pull back in who I am in Christ. Even if I am sad. Even if I cannot control my own opportunities. I know God can. So, I just want to press into God more.
A friend asked, recently, when do you feel more alive? (sweet Narita, maybe she will read this) And my answer was: In all honesty, when I am close to God! And that is the ultimate truth for me, when I am. He is the way, the truth and the life. I know that! And I know what life was like without Him. That was not life. That was being like the walking dead. So no, I will not pull back, no matter what I am feeling. Because He fills my cup with life, in Him, as I live move, and have my being.
I don’t know all the answers. And I do not pretend to know. But I just sense right now, how precious life is, and in Christ. I don’t know you, or your situation. I don’t know what you are feeling, or going through. But, I do know there is a God. I know it with all my being. More so, then I did yesterday. You see, everyday I have to search for God. And every day, I find Him, when I search.
Today is no different. Just that I find Him, in different ways.
His love, compels me to search. And I don’t want to be legalistic. But, I know there are ways, to reach Him, according to His excellence. I suppose this is one other reason why I am adamant about using only a King James bible. Purity, preservation, something about going back to the old way of doing something, opposed to modern techniques, or technology. Seeking God. By prayer, the greatest way of communicating to a King. My friend, my Lord, my savior.
Jesus, is my greatest friend. And I just have a sense, more then ever, how precious His friendship is to me. But I have my part…..
And I guess, this is just a little rant of my own, to sort it all out, but I think of who God is, and His patience. I also see, what His word says, His warnings. His anger, as well, and I see how history even in the word of God, tells us, who God is, and what He expects. The fear of God is healthy for a soul.
I don’t know, I just want to grow, but I want to do it Gods way. And what good is life, if we don’t grow, in who the creator intended us to be? Its life, lets live it for His glory. Or what counts? I just want to make a difference. In my own life, and yes in others. But we have to see, we have to know, we have to try…..
TO HIM WHO ALONE DOETH GREAT WONDERS: FOR HIS MERCY ENDURETH FOREVER. Psalm 137:4
Just a thought today, Elena Ramirez Merry Christmas….
Friendship….what does it mean to you? There are some people we call friends, but do we know them, truly?
I mean, we ask to be friends here, on FB, Twitter and other Social media outlets and some folks we know, and some we do not know. But what is our expectation? Do we want to build true friendships? Or just collect people?
Or if we are Christians, do we want to find people, who believe like we do? So we can call on them to pray? Or we can be there for them to pray for them? Or to chat now and then because as Christians we should relate to each other.
Every one has their reason to be a friend or not to be a friend. And I know, myself, I do cherish you folks. And yes, there are some of you, that I love so dearly. Even though, we have never met….
But, I have unfriended people myself, or blocked them because of differences, in the way one relates as well. Sometimes, you know people you have called them friends, and yet something happens, and it changes everything. And sadly some friendships have been broken.
I have learned some things here, about myself, and how important it is to be friends with Christ first. Things that He expects in friendship is loyalty, being humble, being kind, overlooking differences.
Forgiving….Yet, He is my savior, so there is more that I have to look at to honor Him. So obedience has to come into the foundation to always think and be as He is in love.
And because of that….I think one thing I have learned if someone is a Christian, we are supposed to be brothers and sisters. No, ifs, buts or maybe. And as brothers and sisters we are called to love one another. This is what God commanded us.
Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thy self. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:37-40
True friendships though, need a foundation. They need to have something in common. And if one person does not work at the friendship and the other one does, wow….what a let down. Communication is important, but lets be honest, sometimes we cannot always communicate. So grace must be extended.
But it is kind of a drag, when you work at the friendship, and the other person does not. It seems to be one sided. And I admit, I get weary, when I don’t see progress. Or they do not appreciate me, or my attempts. In friendship. I am not trying to brag, but I think I am a good friend, because of Christ. I think I can bless a friend. I have a lot of love, but when it is not appreciated, I learn to put a shield on my heart.
I have learned to choose Christ, over friends. When I saw the way they truly thought, and learned that they did not agree in faith with me, well I have walked away. After I saw their true colors. It hurt me, as it may have that person, but some influences are not good. And we have to choose Christ first. I have to choose His ways, He is my greatest friend.
We need to develop friendships, that are based on Christ. Christ was a friend to all, but his closest friends were His disciples. Yet there was Judas, and Judas betrayed Christ. Oh those feelings of betrayal, and pain, we get when we trust people, and they let us down.
We need to be mature, we need to give someone respect, we need to see even if we are right, that it is better to be kind, then to reject them. And there are times, we don’t know, so we pray.
I have seen a few articles that touch base on this, and the affects of being unfriended, or rejected in a social media forum. And people do get wounded. So even though we are behind our computers, we need to think about that other person. But more then anything, I want God to be pleased by the way I react or communicate with someone, in these forums. As a friend….
Well, anyway, I don’t know why or how to always understand….but I pray for wisdom in my friendships. I am learning, it is a process, so lets all be kind to one another, as we grow together with Christ.
Just sharing right now…..I love you my friends. I want to help you. I want to help others by my writings. I don’t want to point fingers, because hey it could be pointed back at me.
But I really do want to be a true friend in Christ.
I may be wearing my heart on my sleeve right now, but I long for true friends. Friends who care, and friends who are loyal, and honest, but care about my feelings, even if I am wrong. But they will use discretion to talk. I long for true Christian friends, who are true in Christ.
But don’t just unfriend me, or reject me. That is the most saddest feeling to have a friend walk away, and you don’t know why. Especially if that friend was a Christian. I think the most wounded feeling I have ever had is to be rejected by people I loved, and called them either a brother or sister in Christ. And it has happened to me, and it broke my heart, for a long time. Because I loved these people.
To be rejected by them goes back to how I imagine Christ must have felt by Judas.
At least if I do walk away, I will tell you why. I hope to anyway.
Just a thought about friendship in Christ. Thank you Priscilla, for being witness in the spirit, to bring this post out. To ask me to write about friendship.
I wrote it earlier, but felt it was too much at the moment, but God knows…
With love, Elena Ramirez
Lord, help me to be the kind of friend you want me to be in Christ. Thank you Lord. You are my greatest friend, and you never unfriend me. In fact, you search for me. And teach me. As I search for you. I want to feel like you feel. And honor your feelings, as my greatest friend. In whatever situation, Lord there is no greater friend then you. In Jesus name, Amen
A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity…..Proverbs 17:17
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