HOW TO FIGHT THE SPIRIT OF SUICIDE AND GIVING UP IN GENERAL ~ By Christian Author Elena Ramirez


IMG_3955.jpgI write this from a place of sickness.  A place, where I have the flu, or whatever it is, and it is trying to take my hope away, my trust in God, and where I feel so out of it, that I could just give up.  But God…  It seems, He draws out my gift, even at the worst of times….

As I try to rest, in the day, I am in a spiritual battle.  My dreams, and my spirit is restless, and I hear the devil, telling me to give up.  And I say no….

But God….

But God reminds me, to always fight a good fight of faith.  I am a warrior.  I have fought all my life to survive.  And I am older now, and I have not met success, in certain ways.  

Yes, my life is fruitful, because of my walk with Christ, He saved me.  He pulled me out of the miry clay.  Yes, my life is successful, because I do have a wonderful husband and son, who love me very much.  And the devil, has tried to take that away from me many times, but God, protected me, when it came to temptation.  Or just giving up, on my marriage.  When there was trouble.  

I used to fight and flee.  Because I grew up fighting alone.  But I learned to fight, and have faith.  And no, I have not met goals even in my writing.  I am so limited, but God is not.  In who sees my writings.  

But thats o.k. I will fight the good fight of faith, and continue on.  I will share what the Lord puts on my heart.  I will fight.  Life, is precious.  

But our society, does not protect life.  We do not promote it, or there would not be abortion clinics, throughout our nation.  

Irony of just who I am, my mother, was not able to have children.  She did not want me.  She did not want children.  She actually took medical, advancements, to tie her tubes, and it failed.  I was conceived.  But she did not abort me.  She did not stop the plan of God for me and my life.  I was born.  My father prayed for me.  I am an answer to prayer.  

So, I appreciate life, I appreciate the life God has given me.  Especially, after I accepted Christ as my Lord and savior.  I cleaned up.  Quick!  I repented, I saw how close I was to death, and even hell.

I will not take the cowardly way out, by ending my own life, even when things have been terrible.  And they have been, throughout my life.  I have missed the boat, the plane, and the train, in a lot of things.  Yes, I have regrets.  But I will not give up…

Recently, we have heard in the news of two people, who have given up on life.  They were people in the news.  By their accomplishments, by their gifts and callings.  But they took a wrong turn now.  By suicide.   I won’t name them.  My goodness, they need closure.  For their family.  And then there was a friend in the family, to my son.  He was a young man, and he took his life.  

Why?  

Why do people give up?  Why do they stop caring.  Yes, life is hard sometimes, but don’t ever give up.  That is a spirit of suicide, that goes totally against who we can be in Christ.  And that comes right from hell, not God.  

You have to know who Christ is, and you have to know who the devil is.  And the devil, comes to kill, steal, and destroy.  Read John Chapter 10 from a King James bible.  

Christ, said, He came to give life, and that we “might” have it abundantly.  Might?  Hmm, what does that mean, when you are trying to sort out life, its situations, your hope, your faith, and you are trying, to figure out what to do?

It does not mean taking your own life, or giving up.  I guess, I just come from a place of faith, because thats who I am.  Because I have not always had the success, to say, my life is a success.  Or that I have lived abundantly.  I have not always.  But I dream about it.  I hope for it, and I won’t let go of God, or of my hopes, in having that life abundantly.

Some might say, because I am in my 60’s thats it, well I say, the devil is a liar.  

And I know it.  You see, “But God”….. has stepped in so many times, when I was at the bottom of the barrel, and saved me.  Yes suicide, and giving up, are options, but not if I embrace who I am in Christ.  And thats the whole point here.  

I submit to God.   I resist the devil, and he must flee.  I do it even here, in my writing…. I submit to God, and God can fight the battle in my sickness, in my healing, in my relationships, or in my life, in general.  I won’t give up.

I won’t!

I hold on, even now, and I write, and I let this out of my spirit, to proclaim it.  Because there are people, who do not know God.  They do not know how to believe in God, they don’t know, that there is always a chance, even if it looks like you are not promised tomorrow.  

I have seen as you have, many get a bad doctors report, and they believe, thats it.  Thats the end of it, just give up, take your own life, at your own pace, and they end it.  Thats so wrong. 

Look, my God is not an ATM.  I am not going to give you a bunch of bull, and try to twist your mind, or your spirit, by telling you, just have faith. 

You cannot have faith, if you do not know who God is.  Thats the bottom line.  You have to learn who He is.  You have to know, that He is not mocked.  You have to learn, and know, that He has His commandments, His ways, and we are to follow them.  Not religion.  Not some mans, rules, regulations, and traditions, that he established in a group, and calls it religion, or even Christianity.  

When I see, the distortion of Gods holy word, by so many, by pastors, by churches, it makes me righteously angry.  And I get that because, I know, the truth, the truth, that truly has set me free.  When I see corrupt Bibles, that are part truth, and part lie, yes I get righteously, angry.  

But yet, I don’t push my faith on anybody any more. Oh yes, I did, I would be a liar, if I did not admit that.  But…. I don’t try that hard any more.  I don’t give up.  But I don’t try to force faith, or force belief in God.  Thats His job, not mine.  

But I won’t give up.  Even if He does not answer my prayers.  Even if He leaves me like I am right now.  I won’t….

I will, write, and write, about His goodness, about what pleases Him, because I know Him.  I know Him personally.  

I don’t have a religion, I have a relationship with Him.  And it began, the moment, I saw what He did on that cross for me.  That He took those beatings, that He was nailed to the cross, and endured the pain for me.  The mocking.  The sorrow.  He took it, so I could write this, even now to you.

Don’t give up on life!  Don’t give in to the spirit of suicide, or even giving up for that matter.  After He died, He went straight to hell, to get those keys from the devil, so the devil, would not have that legal right, to make you give up.  Or to steal your soul.  But you have to start even where you are right now….

You know how you begin?

By His holy King James word.  By throwing away that pride, that stupid pride, that wants to deny there is no God.  By admitting, you are a sinner.  By repenting, for even giving up, on God, and on life.  Because there can be a tomorrow.  He can heal you.  Just by what He did on that cross.  He can heal you physically, and spiritually.  

But you have to humble yourself in His sight.  And yes, repent, daily, because we can sin daily.  Many don’t like to believe this, but if you backslide, you can lose salvation, because you gave into sin.  Do we not know, sin, separates us from God?  This is King James scriptural.  He says, He will blot out our names.  Look it up…

READ THESE SCRIPTURES CAREFULLY.

BUT HE GIVETH MORE GRACE.  WHEREFORE HE SAITH, GOD RESISTETH THE PROUD, BUT GIVETH GRACE UNTO THE HUMBLE.  SUBMIT YOURSELVES THEREFORE TO GOD, RESIST THE DEVIL, AND HE WILL FLEE FROM YOU.  DRAW NEAR TO GOD, AND HE WILL DRAW NEAR TO YOU.  CLEANSE YOUR HANDS, YE SINNERS, AND PURIFY YOUR HEARTS YE DOUBLE MINDED.  BE AFFLICTED, AND MOURN, AND WEEP, LET YOUR LAUGHTER BE TURNED TO MOURNING, AND YOUR JOY TO HEAVINESS.  HUMBLE YOURSELVES IN THE SIGHT OF THE LORD, AND HE SHALL LIFT YOU UP.  JAMES 4:6-10.  KJV.  

You cannot resist the devil, without submitting to God first, dear ones.  

And the devil is the one, that is telling you to give up, give up on life, give up on your dreams, give up on your health.  He is saying give up.  He is telling you that with a spirit of suicide for whatever it is….

Don’t you dare.  I raise up my sword of truth, to tell him, even now, he is a liar, and must depart, yes, I feel sick.  Yes, I hurt, yes, I am sad, but I will never give up on God.  I write this with tears, because I know what its like to give up.  Yet, I gather myself up, even if I have to crawl on my knees.  And I do…

And just this week, again, we saw souls, give up.  And it grieves me.  Because there is always a chance with God.  If only they had submitted to God, resisted the enemy, that spirit, of suicide, and giving up, would have left them.  It grieves me, because His commandment is thou shalt not kill.  Killing oneself, and the temple, He resides in, is wrong.  

I don’t know Gods mercy, in all things.  But if I do not do my part, how can I work out my salvation, with fear and trembling, of Him.  When we are commanded to fear God.  That is not taught by our prolific, ministers.  Because they just tickle your ears.  But I have nothing to lose but my sorrows, by telling you to fear God, and don’t give up!

Sounds easy?  Huh?  It is if we take His yoke.  He told us, take my yoke it is easy…..

TAKE MY YOKE UPON YOU, AND LEARN OF ME; FOR I AM MEEK AND LOWLY IN HEART:  AND YE SHALL FIND REST UNTO YOUR SOULS. FOR MY YOKE IS EASY, AND MY BURDEN IS LIGHT.  Matthew 11:30-31   KJV.  

Finding rest for your soul, requires your submitting to God, resisting the devil, and He will flee.  This is how we find our rest.

Not by giving up.  Till my last breath, I will trust God.  I will submit to God, I will resist the devil.  Whether or not anything else changes, or not.  I will try and do it His way.  For He is the way, the truth, and life.  

Go to Him now, bow down, in the sight of a mighty God.  Repent, tell Him you are sorry, tell Him, you want life abundantly.  Let Him heal you, and cleanse you, and renew you, for a new lease in life.  Read Jeremiah 17:14, it is a prayer, for healing…..

Yes, life, abundantly, by only doing that….. can start the process.  There is more.  A whole book, that tells you how.  And its not just in the book, I wrote, “HOW TO HAVE FAITH.”  But its in His holy word, a sword of truth, the King James Bible.  Don’t use anything else, if you don’t want to give up.

Yes, I could keep writing, here right now, but a little food for the soul, by writing Gods word, nourishes me, and so I close till, God says, write again, Elena.  

Write it again….

Blessings, and love,

In Christ, 

Elena Ramirez

http://howtohavefaith.wordpress.com  

https://elenasjustmythoughts.wordpress.com 

 

TAKING A STAND AGAINST THE LITTLE THING TO BE STRONG AGAINST THAT BIG THING ~ By Christian Author Elena Ramirez


Version 2TAKING A STAND AGAINST THE LITTLE THING TO BE STRONG AGAINST THAT BIG THING…..By Elena Ramirez

If we cannot take a stand for God, in just a little thing. Like not seeing a certain movie, or not going to a place that is notorious, for sin, or accepting people, in our lives who are bad influences.

What kind of stand is that? How can we stand against the enemy in a big thing, if we are not strong against him, in a little thing?

Folks, we can miss it. I am sad today for I see, the little foxes steal the vines…..

We are the vine, growing with Christ, but if we do not submit to Him, we can be cut off.

Don’t we see that? Again. How can we stand against the enemy in big things, if we won’t submit to God even in little things?

And take a stand against that little thing? We ALL have to see this…

https://elenasjustmythoughts.wordpress.com

DO YOU KNOW WHY LOYALTY IS SO IMPORTANT? ~ By Christian Author Elena Ramirez


DSC_0013.jpgDO YOU KNOW WHY LOYALTY IS SO IMPORTANT?

By Elena Ramirez

Do you know why loyalty is so important? The right kind of loyalty? The kind, that is kind, and holy, and beautiful. And good? The kind that is love?

The kind of loyalty, that is true, and royal, that comes from God, is the kind we should all aspire to do for one another. But you cannot have that unless you are loyal to God first. And that is my goal.

Whether someone agrees with me or not. I work out my salvation, with fear, and trembling. Fear of God.

Just remember, and do not ever, ever forget….the Lord, knows about loyalty. God the father, had His Kingdom all in tact, till the enemy the devil disrupted heaven, with his jealousy, and was disloyal, causing war in heaven.

When Christ walked the earth, and He had his disciples. How true were they, when Judas, betrayed Christ, and yes even Peter denied knowing Him?

Folks, God knows and sees, disloyalty. He will not bless being disloyal. Just saying, so next time, someone trusts you. Don’t play with their heart. Because you may lose someone who is true, and was loyal to you. And worse you may lose the sense of what is true and loyal.

Be accountable to God and others, repent, when you see this in yourself. It can come to any of us so easily, but if you love God, you will be loyal to God first. Then to others.

You have to see this, if you truly want to serve God, or to have your salvation in tact. Its called love. Loving God first, then others, as we are commanded.

This is what I aspire to do, and if someone cannot see that and make fun of it. Mock it, try to undermine it, or call it being melodramatic. Or any kind of sarcastic name. I really have nothing else to say….. Nor will I waste my time. I will shake the dust off.

I will walk with Christ….. He understands loyal. He understands love. He taught me love, by saving me. By showing me what He did on the cross. I will be loyal to that.

I love the Lord, and thats who I am, take it or leave it. I love my friends. And I am loyal to them. But I know the difference. A friend, truly loves at all times. Not when its just convenient.

Its always a choice.

AND JESUS ANSWERED HIM THE FIRST OF ALL COMMANDMENTS IS, HEAR O ISRAEL; THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; AND THOU SHALT LOVE THE LORD THY GOD WITH ALL THY HEART, AND WITH ALL THY SOUL, AND WITH ALL THY MIND, AND WITH ALL THY STRENGTH; THIS IS THE FIRST COMMANDMENT. AND THE SECOND IS LIKE, NAMELY THIS, THOU SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THYSELF, THERE IS NONE OTHER COMMANDMENT GREATER THAN THESE.
MARK 12:29-31. KJV.

In Christ, praying to always be loyal to the King of Kings…….

Elena Ramirez

https://elenasjustmythoughts.wordpress.com

WHEN PASTORS ARE DECEIVED BY THE DEVIL ~ By Christian Author Elena Ramirez


fullsizeoutput_789Its a very sad thing, when you see and know a Pastor has been deceived by the devil.

When you see Pastors push people away from truth, from Gods true word.  Its a sad thing, when you don’t see love.  When you see Pastors, talk about other churches, and puff themselves up, as if they know the truth.  But they do not see the error of their own ways.  

We are called to love one another.  And I know that there are things, we do not always agree on.  But when a Pastor, does not have patience.  Does not see the truth, the perspective from God himself.  He no longer, is guided by God, or the Holy spirit.  But by the devil himself.  

They become deceived by the devil.  

We are called to look at the fruit.  By their fruit you will know them.  I have been to so many churches, and I have searched, long, and hard, for truth.  I have searched for love.  Love that is holy from God.  Love that is in line with Gods truth.  Love that is compassionate as Christ is. Love that accepts all people.  And encourages, people of all races to attend.  

I know we are all different, we are all growing on the vine at different stages.  But Christ said, we would be known by the love.  

And there are some things I tolerate, in love, but doctrine, is not one thing I compromise on.  I do search for a place, where King James word is.  But where there is a balance in truth. 

But when I see a pastor, or a church, where growth is not there.  Something, is wrong.  Its not Gods fault, but the pastor, or the leader of the church is not doing something.  

I guess, I have had a taste of this or that, so with discernment, I know, what pleases God.  By worship, by prayer, at the beginning of a service, so the Holy Spirit, can have full control.  By love.  For if love comes from the pulpit, it would flow to the whole congregation.  

When Pastors, are not patient, in even disagreeing, what does that say?  If they do not communicate, when spoken to…If they accuse members of discord, and insist they are protecting the congregation, yet, pushing someone away who is sincerely, asking, for guidance, and they are reprimanded, just because they ask, thats not love.  

This according to Jeremiah 23;1 is scattering the body of Christ.  It is not unity, but it is causing division.   A house divided cannot stand.  Christ warned us, that they would push us out of our churches.  Out of their synagogues.  This is a Pharisee spirit.  Beware. 

He told us, these things. It does not make one feel better, but we know. 

It is a sad state, we are all in, as the body of Christ.  And it very well does make me understand, why many people stop going to church.  Religion, is a very strange thing. When people embrace, “religious” principles, that go against the word of God, they are thereby making their own rules, regulations, and traditions.  And they lose something.  They are losing, truth, their emotions, they are losing relationship.  Relationship with Christ.  They are creating their own religion.  

They lose the guidance of the Holy spirit, by the truth.  Yes, it has to be truth, Gods holy King James word.  To take the responsibility, as a Pastor,  I am sure would be a very difficult job.  Yet, with God guiding, I know it would be easy.  He says, take my yoke it is easy.  

But it is sad, when the truth, is picked over, or the gospel is watered down.  And instead there is a tickling of the ears.  To please people.  Or to please just the pastor. Himself. But not God. Theres always a balance, and a false balance, is an abomination to God.  

To lose balance, of truth, to lose balance, and accept, that salvation is secure, is not in fear of God.  Its not taking to heart the many scriptures, that God has given us.  Salvation can be lost.  Folks, salvation, is a gift.  But it is a contract.  We have our part.  God did His part, by sending His son to die for us.  Christ did His part, by going on the cross, being obedient, to the Father.

But we have our part, we are to work out our salvation, with trembling, and fear.  Fear of God.  For He is the one who will judge us.  He is the one, who can either allow us in heaven or hell.  But it is by what we did on this earth.  

We all sin, we all come short of the glory of God.  Repentance, is what keeps you secure.  Obedience to God. Do not forget that, no matter what you get out of this.  Remember repentance, is what keeps the slate clean.  In fear of God. 

Never take that for granted.  If you do not see altar calls, for the lost, the broken, the backslider, to come to the altar to repent.  That is a church, where the pastor is being disobedient.  Don’t go there.  When you see communion is not served.  In remembrance of Christ.  Don’t go there.  If you see, God is not invited at the beginning of the service to have full reign, to guide that service, in prayer.  Don’t go there.  If you see, worship, is not encouraged, don’t go there.  Worship must be always to please… the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.  If you do not see prayer, for one another, and it is not encouraged, then don’t go there.  If you see, the pastor, does not encourage everyone, in their own gifts and callings don’t go there.  If you see the message, turns into a prosperity message, and someone twists and claims scripture for self, but dismisses salvation.  Run….don’t follow them.  Follow Christ.  

If you do not see the pastor, love the people, but hides, and is evasive, run from that church.  If you see, the scorner, the person, that thinks they are only right, but everybody else is wrong, at the pulpit, run from that church.  

If you see, someone else being denied freedom of speech, or does not let someone express themselves, this is mind control.  We all need to communicate now, and then, this is not discord, just because you talk.  To another brother or sister in Christ. Or because you have different ideas. For someone who would take this stance, is very insecure themselves.   This is someone, if they could would burn you at the stake if they could.  

Instead, of talking, or communicating to someone, in love but putting someone down.  This kind of spirit is trying to take away your own ability to think on your own.  This is someone who does not embrace freedom to be themselves.  Or others.

If someone has no respect to your pace, as to where you are, as a baby Christian, or as, even a seasoned Christian, or as just someone who wants to learn in Christ, or wants to understand the church, and are called, disrespectful, troublemakers, or someone causing discord, these kind of pastors are not walking in love.  And, in Christ. We all need to ask questions, and love each other.  If you don’t see the love run.

You don’t have to deny someone a right to think to be a leader.  You don’t have to hit someone with the Bible, or hit someone back in the head with the Bible.  Just because they disagree.  Sure share word, and again, I only suggest King James word, because other versions are corrupt, and no longer holy or anointed, but share love, more then anything. 

Run from them.  Don’t let someone control your mind, or your soul, by being a part of them.  By even being a member of that.  It flows from the top, and it will flow to you, and decay your soul. 

Salvation should always be the goal of the pastor.  And the goal to bring the backslider back to the throne of God.    If you do not see it, this is a dead church. 

Sometimes it takes a while to see the signs.  But God will protect you.  Just stay obedient to God.  Even if you don’t see love from the pulpit.  Even if you have been rejected.  Even if you were misunderstood.  

Stay true to God.  Pray for that pastor, for you see, they have been deceived.  Pray for the members of that church.  You see, they are Gods lambs.  Not the pastor, who is disobedient to God.  He sees the wolf in sheeps clothing. Just stay true to God, do not get discouraged.  

God loves you, and He will guide you.  You don’t wish or hope anything bad for anybody.  But you know what God says.  

For, it is a sad thing, when you know, truth, and love, and you see something from the pulpit that is not of God.  

Just depart, and walk in peace.  And always stay humble, and pray.  You may be sad, or broken hearted, because it is a sad thing.  To see, division, to see disobedience, to see religion, raise its ugly head, and call it Gods truth.  

But you know who you are in Christ, and you choose to walk in love.  Walk away.

Remember, if you have been accused, or hurt by someone, remember, Christ will stand by the accused.  If they are innocent.  If they are being obedient to Him.  You see the devil, will use an accuser but that accuser has a place right in hell.  

Sad, sometimes the devil will use a Pastor, to be an accuser.  And they don’t see it, because they think they are right.  And they scatter the church.  This happens, when a Pastor is deceived by the devil. 

AND I HEARD A LOUD VOICE SAYING IN HEAVEN, NOW IS COME SALVATION, AND STRENGTH, AND THE KINGDOM OF OUR GOD, AND THE POWER OF HIS CHRIST:  FOR THE ACCUSER OF OUR BRETHREN IS CAST DOWN WHICH ACCUSED THEM BEFORE OUR GOD DAY AND NIGHT.  AND THEY OVERCAME HIM BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB, AND BY THE WORD OF THEIR TESTIMONY, AND THEY LOVED NOT THEIR LIVES UNTO THE DEATH. REVELATION 12:10-11.   

WOE BE UNTO THE PASTORS THAT DESTROY AND SCATTER THE SHEEP OF MY PASTURE.  SAITH THE LORD.  THEREFORE THUS SAITH THE LORD OF ISRAEL AGAINST THE PASTORS THAT FEED BY PEOPLE.  YE HAVE SCATTERED MY FLOCK, AND DRIVEN THEM AWAY, AND HAVE NOT VISITED THEM, BEHOLD I WILL VISIT UPON YOU THE EVIL OF YOUR DOINGS, SAITH THE LORD.  JEREMIAH 23:1  KJV.

FOR THE PASTORS ARE BECOME BRUTISH, AND HAVE NOT SOUGHT THE LORD:  THEREFORE THEY SHALL NOT PROSPER, AND ALL THEIR FLOCKS SHALL BE SCATTERED.  JEREMIAH 10:21 KJV.

MANY PASTORS HAVE DESTROYED MY VINEYARD, THEY HAVE TRODDEN MY PORTION UNDER FOOT, THEY HAVE MADE MY PLEASANT PORTION A DESOLATE WILDERNESS.  THEY HAVE MADE IT DESOLATE, AND BEING DESOLATE IT MOURNETH UNTO ME, THE WHOLE LAND IS MADE DESOLATE, BECAUSE NO MAN LAYETH IT TO HEART.  JEREMIAH 12:10-11.  KJV.   

Christ saved me, as I repented.  You see, I was saved at an early age.  But I sinned, after that.  But if I had died, before repenting, I know, I would have found hell as my destination.  

But I overcame the enemy, even now,  by the blood of the lamb.  By Gods truth.  Not mine, but His. By rededicating myself. By repenting.  By my testimony to the mercy of God, in salvation.

These things, I have experienced.  But I so know the difference friends.  If you need prayer, or kindness, feel free to write to me.  I will lift you up to the Father.  I will try to be someone to put salve on your own wounds, to ease your pain, because I do understand.  And I am healed in Christ.  

Blessings, and love in Christ,

Elena Ramirez  

prayerofgod@comcast.net

AN APOLOGY TO MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS AND SUBSCRIBERS ~ BY CHRISTIAN AUTHOR ELENA RAMIREZ


If I could sit down and talk with you, and tell you face to face God loves you, I would.  But I can only do so with my book right now, and to show you how to Have faith.  If interested  in reading my book via Smashwords, go to this link.  CLICK THIS LINK TO ORDER "HOW TO HAVE FAITH" ON SMASHWORDS..... https://www.smashwords.com/interview/ElenaRamirezChristianauthor  If interested in ordering the Paper Back go to this link.  http://howtohavefaith.wordpress.com

If I could sit down and talk with you, and tell you face to face God loves you, I would. But I can only do so with my book right now, and to show you how to Have faith. If interested in reading my book via Smashwords, go to this link. “HOW TO HAVE FAITH” ON SMASHWORDS…..
https://www.smashwords.com/interview/ElenaRamirezChristianauthor If interested in ordering the Paper Back go to this link. http://howtohavefaith.wordpress.com

To whom it may concern:  This may include my Facebook friends, people who may be on their list, or anyone, who is a subscriber, in a group or just even someone, who may be a bystander.  This can also include Twitter.

Facebook, is a wonderful, way to communicate the gospel.  It is a great vessel, that God can speak to someones heart, to know truth.  I understand the great potential of social media.

It can be used to speak truth to someone, who needs to see truth.  It can open up dialogue, that cannot always be made available even in relationships.

Something about being behind our computers, though can give us strength to speak our minds, and speak truth, but with that ability to hide, behind our computers, it can be used in a destructive way  for it can also be used to fight someone, or to just throw darts at someone.

And that is not cool.  That is not wisdom, nor is it love, and we are all called to love one another.  There does have to be a sense of the power of our words.  And how to use them, and we are responsible.  In the sight of God.  Our words are recorded in heaven and not just Facebook.

I suppose that is why I am writing.  And yes, apologizing.

You see, I am a servant of God.  I cannot speak for anyone else but for me.  And because I am a servant of God, I need to try and be a good example.  I need to see the error of my ways.

I am also a truth seeker, and because I am a truth seeker, I do look to see, according to my King James Bible, truth.  And when I see the lack of it, I do sometimes speak my mind.  I do so, because if it can bring light, to a situation, or to someone, then I am called to speak the gospel.

Now I don’t want to get personal with people, or judge them, but sometimes, when you see the deception in something, you see that the fruit, that may be planted, in that persons life, can hurt them.  So you say something…..because you want to spare them, you want them to know truth, and to see the light.  It is also perceived as being judged.

You also want to see them make heaven.  And there in just that, is the boldness, that I can sometimes speak, that may be harsh, but I know God.  I know my Lord, I know His truth. I also know, how the enemy deceives.

And because I know my Lord, and His warnings, His commandments, I know what His word says, and so many people do not know His truth, and they are so misled.

And yes I get angry with some of those in leadership, and they hide truth, cowardly, or do not tell someone the error of their ways, just so they can be popular.

I never was popular, and I may never be.  But I especially do not want that title, if it means going against Gods truth, to please people.  No thank you.  I want them to see Jesus, not me.

But to someone, who does not see that my intention is to bring light, into a situation, will see it as argumentative, or combative.  And I understand that.  It grieves me, when I have been in spiritual battles, and I am perceived as argumentative.  But it does go with the territory.

I do not apologize for who I am in Christ, but I do apologize, if I do not use, discretion, or grace, or I am harsh, or I am even sometimes rude.  That is never my intention.  But I am human.  And sometimes, when people have hurt me, or been mean to me, I call it like it is.

That is not always good.  I don’t want to return evil for evil.  But I have called someone out on it, and given them the same taste that they may have given me.  Its not good.

I grew up fighting.  Physical fights, when I was young, and I learned to fight.  Now I am a Christian, and I am called to love, forgive, and walk in peace.

But I also see, how God has groomed me, given me courage, and taught me, to be strong.  And that nature of being a warrior may always be in me.  I believing in fighting for good causes.  I believing in fighting for truth, and speaking for love, and kindness, and compassion.

I believe in speaking for others, who do not know how, to defend themselves.  I believe in my King James Bible, and sometimes, I get into debates over that.  I believe in the Holiness of it, the anointing, and it is not always received, so sometimes, I am engaged in a spiritual battle with others over that.  I will always promote it, because I believe in the authenticity of it.  But I also know what Gods word says, and He says do not fight about the law.  BUT AVOID FOOLISH QUESTIONS, AND GENEALOGIES, AND CONTENTIONS, AND STRIVINGS ABOUT THE LAW; FOR THEY ARE UNPROFITABLE AND VAIN.  TITUS 3:9

I am not backing down, even here, to say I am not going to be in battles.  I may very well be in more.  But, I do not want to be perceived as a trouble maker either.  I do not want to be perceived either as someone though, who will hide truth.  Or back down from truth.

But why should I debate truth, when I know it is truth?

I am just trying to find the balance, in who I am in Christ.  I am trying to be humble, and transparent for my Father to use.  I am trying to see, the error of my ways.  I am trying to get my own breakthroughs, in my life, and ministry.  So I humble myself, and apologize, if you misunderstood me, or if I have come across as being argumentative.

I am trying to refine who I am in Christ.  That is all I am trying to do.  Because the truth of the matter is, I want to grow.  I don’t want to stay in the same mold.  I don’t want to hurt myself, so I do not produce fruit, or bring fruit out in others.  But I don’t want the devil to hurt you.

I am not saying I will never speak up again, or I will deny truth.  I am just saying, I am going to be very careful, because I never want to turn people off, from God.  I am just communicating all of this, because I want you to know God.  And He may use me to do that.

But I just have to say this.  Because I want my ministry to be real, not phony, and not bold enough to say, truth.  Fathers truth.  There are so many who distort His truth.  That it grieves me.  And I do pray, to speak it when I have to.  To expose the darkness.

Recently, I broke off a friendship with someone.  Someone I knew for a long time.  And I thought we were friends, but when I saw what she believed and what I believed it was not the same.  And it made me think, how can we really be friends, if we do not agree?

Like scripture says.  CAN TWO WALK TOGETHER, EXCEPT THEY BE AGREED.  AMOS 3:3  

And because of this, falling out so to speak, that really did hurt me in a lot of ways, I am soul searching.  Trying to dispel any darkness in my own life.  And I don’t want to be friends, with people who do not see the truth of God in this, that can be called darkness.  AND HAVE NO FELLOWSHIP WITH THE UNFRUITFUL WORKS OF DARKNESS, BUT RATHER REPROVE THEM.  EPHESIANS 5: 11

I probably hurt this person.  But I had to speak truth, and I had to try and spare her, hell.  I did it because I love God, and yes I loved her.  I will miss her friendship, but when things like this happen, you choose God. And this is where my loyalty always has to be.  Above friends, or enemies.  I choose to please God.  

It was not perceived well.  With this person. And I do wish her well.  But I had to do it. I broke the ties, spiritual and in friendship, and I planted the seed, of His truth, so she will see, but I will not water it.  And so, it was hard.  But it had to be done.  

And so after a battle like that, I am trying to get my bearings.  I am trying to clean the slate.  I am trying to see the error of my own ways.  I am trying to walk in humbleness, and love.  But I am also asking others, are you really my friend in Christ?  I don’t want “frienenemies”.

I am doing this so that my tree, of who I am would produce true fruit of Christ, in love, and yes truth.  We all are so vulnerable, and if we don’t know Gods truth, we can hurt ourselves.  So I am trying….

I am trying to grow.  I never want to limit God, but I can limit myself, and I don’t want to.

So I humble myself, before you all.  And I say I am sorry, if I was misunderstood, or if I even misunderstood.  And we had a difference in opinions or words, were exchanged, or whatever.  And you saw that, and you know, its not right.  I apologize.  

I am just truly trying with all my being, and I don’t know what else to say, but I pray God use me, for His glory.  But I will not compromise His truth, for popularity, or to be a people pleaser.

Thank you, if you took the time to read this.  God bless you,

Elena Ramirez