“But this is a people robbed and spoiled; they are all of them snared in holes, and they are hid in prison houses: they are for a prey, and none delivereth; for a spoil, and none saith, Restore.”
Isaiah 42:22 KJV
Lord, I ask that you restore. And I thank you, and praise you almighty God. Lord you know. Whatever I have suffered, whatever I have learned, even in the hidden parts of my soul, and being, that I may not even see, I pray, it brings you glory, honor and praise. Bring restoration. Bring it, so I can say as a testimony, LOOK WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR ME. In Jesus name. Amen.
I look at this verse, and it reminds me of me. Yes, I have been hidden in my house for years now. I feel like in so many ways, I have been robbed, and spoiled. I feel like I missed the boat, the plane, the train. To success. Just having a sense, that something was stolen from me in my life. Wanting, but never obtaining, longing for, but never being fulfilled, if that makes sense. Barely surviving, yet knowing that thriving can exist. It can be obtained. Yes, I long for Gods restoration. I long for it.
Yet, I have been blessed. God has been with me, HE has never left or forsaken me. But hearts desires like in my writing, or my singing, have eluded me. Just even in finding my way, to do great things. I long to do great things. Things that someone else may not be able to do. Things that are incentive, inventive, creative, like our Lord. I want to be like our Lord. But I want HIM to have all the glory, honor and praise. I have not seen success. But now I say Lord, restore.
I still have dreams, even though I am older. I still have hearts desires. Not for me so much any more in what I do. But for God. For God to be glorified in my life. That would bless me. Anything else from that, would be like candy. Like a treat.
Its been a tough year and a half. I won’t go into details, but it has. I have held onto God with all my being. Sometimes, wondering, will I survive this? I still pray it. Pain, has been my friend, and a friend, I did not want. Yet, I have learned, to hold onto God. Perhaps even learning a greater compassion for others. Learning, wisdom, in the sense that the greatest amount of knowledge and understanding, can only come from God. In how HE relates to us. Since, HE the Lord, sent HIS son, to die for our sins. HE suffered, HE died, and was buried, resurrected to save us. Yet, HE understands what it is like to suffer. I ponder on this scripture, and realize how deep the affect of suffering can be. Some things, thankfully, we do not suffer.
But there are some things, I believe in suffering, we also can relate to our Lord Jesus, as HE relates to us.
But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
1 Peter 5:10 KJV
HE is perfect.
I feel like I am scratching at the surface, in trying to relate this. To express it. Have you ever had so much pain, that you could only scream into a pillow, for comfort? Have you ever had pain, that no amount of movement would be a comfort spot? A place of relief? So much pain, that you would not wish that on your own enemy?
There are different forms of pain. But as much as I have suffered in my lifetime, and yes for different things, it has passed. What do we gain in suffering? As the above scripture reminds us, that it changes us. To be perfected, established, and settled. I am paraphrasing. But it is with Gods grace, who has called us. But I suppose we cannot maintain this without a form of suffering.
All I know as I try to make this brief, that any kind of suffering we go through, can bring us closer to God. Closer to perfection. When I think of who I was, and who I am now, I know the old Elena has died. The old way of thinking, no longer exists. Suffering did that to me. Suffering made me seek God. Suffering made me realize its not all about me. Suffering made me realize I needed to accept myself, as I was, but yet seek God, to be the best I can be. Suffering…. Now I pray for a form of total restoration.
That whatever I have learned, even in the hidden parts of my soul, would somehow glorify God.
Would somehow, give me a sense of love and understanding even for others, that perhaps I had not.
I don’t know, I am not going to try and fathom it or understand it all even here in a post, where I believe I am scratching the surface. But there has to be something, that has to grow in my heart, to remember, to understand, to know, without any kind of hypocrisy. Or any kind of fake feelings, how important it is to remember what Christ did for us.
HE suffered folks, we may never understand the depth of that. We may never truly sense that kind of suffering, even if we suffer for other reasons. But what we can understand, and I do, is how great that love is. How great HIS sacrifice was for us. That HE would give HIS life to save us. Spiritually. And yes physically.
I suppose that is why HE had compassion, and mercy for us. How I long to have that in me as well. Suffering makes us look at others differently. I pray that as well for the fruit of it. But I know that Christ suffered to make us complete. To make us whole. Restored.
To save us from the penalty of sin. Many cannot see that. But I do. I see it, and it makes me want to cry. Because I know I have missed, the boat, the plane and train, and I have so many regrets. But if it has brought me closer to God, with understanding, then perhaps I can serve HIM.
Perhaps, I can add on, and bring HIM glory. Because there is a God. I know it. No one, no matter how much they deny it, cannot tell me there is not a God. Maybe suffering has shown me this more clearly. But I am grateful, and I pray, to continually offer HIM praise and thanks. Never ashamed of my faith. Bold, and courageous, because I trust the one who can restore. Suffering can bring restoration.
Blessings and love,
Elena Ramirez
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