IN YOUR PATIENCE POSSESS YE YOUR SOULS. LUKE 21:19 KJV
I hate when I lose patience. With myself, with others. I feel like it is a sin. I feel like when I lose control in these areas, that I have to start all over again. Repent, and watch myself.
Usually I am a pretty patient person. I wasn’t always patient. I had learned some pretty bad habits in that area, just growing up. But when Christ came into my life, it did give me a different sense to just take a deep breath, before I said or did something. To be patient.
But there are times, when I see, things mount up, or I see no progress in my life, or in a situation, and I just kind of lose my patience. I get frustrated. Like a little child. It seems so immature to be honest.
But I am human. I make mistakes. So do others. Maybe its this Corona virus thing, that seems to have us all concerned, and worried. Upset. I don’t know how anybody can do it without God. Because I plead the blood of Jesus over my household. Just like Moses did, we plead the blood of Jesus. We pray, yet we feel so concerned. I hate to use the word fearful, but we are being extremely cautious in this household.
But watching the news, though we need to be informed, can be inundating with fear. And many of these journalists, politicians, are very fearful. They promote fear. They undermine. They plant seeds of fear.
Though, I do not see that with our President. Donald J. Trump. I think he is doing a great job. I think he is taking great strides and measures to protect us. But many do not give him grace, or actually acknowledge his good efforts.
I guess, I feel sad, when I give grace to someone myself, but they do not give me grace. Yet, I know even here as I write this, I have to give myself grace. Now there’s a difference in not being accountable, or just shrugging something off, and not growing.
I do see the danger of that, with any fault, or sin. I don’t think we can grow, if we don’t take responsibility, and be accountable. Admit first of all, you lost it, and then apologize.
First to God. Because He does see. It grieves me, when I do sin, in any area of my life, because I do know God does see.
I sense Him that much.
He does not let me get away with it either. Gee, when I think of the times, I have reaped, things from my own bad judgment etc. Well, it does make me stop and think.
I never want to have a pity party about it, but sometimes, I do. I just wonder why God, why? Thats when He really seems to be silent. I want to be a good example for Christ. But I know I fail Him. I know I do….
I only pray, for more patience. But I know it takes time, to sometimes, actually grow fruit in an area. And I suppose the enemy could use that against me. But if I realize my faults in an area, and I go to God, and yes, cry, repent, maybe God will protect me from the condemnation of the enemy. You know that nagging guilty feeling, one gets.
I never dismiss guilt. There is though a difference between condemnation, and being convicted. Condemnation does come from the enemy. But being convicted will bring us to the throne, to repent, because God sees. That fear of God, sure does kick in my spirit. I am glad, He convicts me.
THERE IS THEREFORE NOW NO CONDEMNATION TO THEM WHICH ARE IN CHRIST JESUS, WHO WALK NOT AFTER THE FLESH BUT AFTER THE SPIRIT. Romans 8:1 King James.
I guess, thats why I do repent because losing patience is from the flesh. And I always have to bring it to the obedience of Christ.
Because I know guilt is something God can use to get us to go to His throne anyway. It cleans the slate. Theres something about not repenting that hurts us. We cannot grow. We cannot achieve, to me anyway a sense of overcoming something, unless we truly repent to God. It is like it brings a curse, if that makes sense. Because say like with being impatient, it can bring strife, and that’s not from God. So I go to Gods throne. I want to avoid strife at all costs. Especially because I have been a warrior. I am so tired of fighting sometimes.
I want to avoid strife. I saw it growing up. I hate to say that, but I saw that from my sweet mama, who now and then, would just lose it, and it messed with her sense of being reasonable. She would not apologize, but she taught me to apologize. Which now seems strange. When I think of it in retrospect. Only now and then I would see her be accountable for losing her patience.
But I just want to go to Gods throne, because He is there. But I know I have to go there, if I want to change. If I want changes in my life. I have to know what He says, and thinks, and instructs in a manner, so I can get His attributes.
Does that make sense?
I don’t know, just feeling stretched right now, and being totally honest, and I don’t like when I snap.
I just don’t. Oh well. Time to go wash my face, talk to God, repent. Make the best out of the situation…..Grow, if I can.
Lord, its in your hands. Forgive me father, for that moment of losing it. I got frustrated. Thank you Father,God, no damage was done. But I see Lord, it could have been worse. The enemy could have caused damage. But I do submit to you my God, and the enemy must leave. I so appreciate your mercy Lord. Thank you for grace, when its given to me. Even right now, it is. Thank you. Dear Lord. I would explain, to my readers, but I just see it even here. Love unconditional. Thank you Lord. Help me to have love always, and patience. To be like Christ. I don’t want to grieve you or the Holy Spirit. Lord always forgive me. Please. Its never an excuse, and I never want to take advantage of grace. By abusing it. But I so appreciate your mercy, and grace. In Jesus name. Amen.
It has been a few days since, I wrote the above. I just could not publish this when I kind of lost it. I was kind of ashamed, what kind of an example is that? I thought to myself. I am just grateful to God. I am feeling stronger, and more faithful. We can fall folks, so easily from grace. I never want to abuse grace. Or take folks, or life for granted. Or anything.
More then anything, I never want to take God for granted. I just thank Him, for holding us up right now, and I have to see it, and stay calm in Christ. Do you sense He is trying to tell us all something? I do, I see more than ever, its time to get right with Christ. I think we are in end times.
AND GREAT EARTHQUAKES SHALL BE IN DIVER PLACES, AND FAMINES, AND PESTILENCES; AND FEARFUL SIGHTS AND GREAT SIGNS SHALL THERE BE FROM HEAVEN. LUKE 21:11 KING JAMES.
Blessings, and love,
Elena Ramirez
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